Author of the memoir, "Where Did My Life Go?"

Author of the memoir, "Where Did My Life Go?"
My FREE short story Memoir Available Worldwide on Amazon and iBooks (Click the Picture Above)

Monday, August 20, 2012

DETOX and the Wagon

Hello,


I am clear headed and ready to get shit done now. I just got out of detox up in Marathon. I spent 6 days at the Guidance Clinic, while there, I also took a ride to Fisherman's Hospital in the ambulance. I came down with a fever, had low blood pressure and a rapid pulse rate. When I got to the hospital they found out I had a slight case of bronchitis. So through an IV, they gave me antibiotics. I was in the emergency room for about 8 hours then the nurse woke me up and told me my ride back to the detox clinic was there.

When I first went to the guidance clinic detox, I admitted myself because I was tired of drinking. I wasn't having any fun anymore. I was in Marathon and I would get a 4 pack, drink 2 beers, fall asleep, wake up, drink the other 2 beers, go to the store, get another 4 pack and repeat the boring cycle. My unemployment has run out so now I really have to look for a job. So I decided to clean myself up and start looking and get a friggin cell phone which I have been telling myself I was going to get but never did because I was too busy, fucked up, drinking and procrastinated and never got around to it. So I have put myself on the wagon to get my life back in order and to get a fucking JOB!!! Great thing is, is that I don't have a craving for alcohol, in fact, the thought of drinking a beer or Vodka makes me sick to my stomach. So it's easy to be on the wagon, for now. Who knows what the future holds?



I am back in Key West staying at KOTS which has thinned out because of people getting kicked out for doing stupid shit or getting busted and thrown in jail by the cops which is another reason why I quit drinking. I got tired of worrying and constantly looking over my shoulder for cops to escape from either being busted for open container, trespassing and/or sleeping where I shouldn't be sleeping. So that is a big relief in itself. Apparently they are more lenient on open container in Marathon but I did have a deputy there tell me I couldn't sleep in the park. Which I thought was odd.



So now I'm on the job hunt, ..seriously! After I get a job, I need to get the fuck out of KOTS and get a cheap, little efficiency. They have OSHA training coming up for construction in Key West so I should be able to make that training this weekend and be certified, at least, for a future job on road construction. I'm hopeful and grateful that I have a clear mind and that I am ready to improve my life. Cause this same old shit, is getting OLD!!! Hooray for AA !!!! We'll take it one day at a time and see what happens as the future unfolds. I'm also back to writing my book of memories so I am moving forward and I will not celebrate until I finish my goals. Get a job, get an apartment and finish writing my book!!! THEN I MIGHT, have a beer, maybe not, I don't know what the future holds. Right now I feel pretty good, better than when I was drinking, that's for sure. I used to wake up at the bus stop or park bench and the first thing that came to mind was to get a beer so I could feel alright and just end up drinking all day getting nothing done. What a pathetic existence. That's not living. Now I feel I have another running start and chance. Thank you to the Guidance clinic, they do good work there. I highly recommend them if you want to quit drinking and they even have smoke breaks!!! So you don't have to quit smoking. One habit at a time!!! Bye for now. Stay safe and remember to always have fun because you only live once. There are no second chances after death!!


A FEW WORDS I HAD IN MY HEAD BEFORE I GO...........

I'M SORRY
I MEANT TO CALL
BUT I FELL ASLEEP
ON A TELEPHONE POLE

ONE TWO
MANY BEERS
THREE FOUR
WHERE'S THE DOOR
FIVE SIX
I LOST MY STICKS
SEVEN EIGHT
I MIGHT BE LATE
NINE TEN
WHERE DO I BEGIN

KNOCK KNOCK
ARE YOU HOME
I LOST THE ONE
I USED TO CALL
MY OWN
I TOOK
THE FALL
IN A SEA
OF ALCOHOL


I would like to thank Natural Ice, Keystone Ice and any cheap ass Vodka for helping me ruin my life. No, it is not your fault. You didn't jump out of the store and pour yourself down my throat. I found you and paid good money, usually my last dime to capture and hide you. You and I did a pretty good job but I'm sorry, you're fired, I don't need you anymore. It's time for you and me to part ways and move on!! *sniff* *sniff*  Breaking up is soooo hard to do. To da loo......don't worry some other sucker will pick you up, I guarantee it!!




Monday, August 6, 2012

Miami Beach Poems- Incomplete

7-2-12




TAKE IT AWAY

GIVE IT AWAY

BEFORE THEY STEAL IT AWAY

AS FAR AS I CAN GO



NO PLACE LEFT

THEY TRY TO TAKE

ME TO A NEW LOW PLACE



I'VE NEVER BEEN BEFORE



GIVE ME STRENGTH

GIVE ME WISDOM

TAKE THE WORDS

I SPEAK



JUST A LOSER

YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME

YOU STAND ON

YOUR OWN TWO FEET

BETTER THAN ME

YOU HAVE A ROOM TO SLEEP

EAT A LOBSTER AND STEAK

BETTER THAN ME

TO YOUR EVERY COMMAND

HOW COULD I EVER THINK



DON'T SLEEP ON THE BEACH

AWAKE FROM A DREAM

YOU THOUGHT WOULD COME TRUE

ANOTHER LOST THOUGHT

WITHOUT A CLUE



BETWEEN THE BLADES OF GRASS

THAT WAIT



I THOUGHT YOU WERE MORE

THAN I BELIEVED

I KNOW ENOUGH TO SAVE THE WORLD



7-3-12



DO I BASE MY SUCCESS

ON WHAT THEY HAVE ALREADY SAID

MEASUREMENT TAPE

TO GAUGE

WHAT SOCIETY TOLD ME

WHERE I SHOULD BE



I HAVE TO DIE TO ESCAPE

JUDGEMENT DAY



WE ALL END UP

IN THE FINAL RESTING PLACE



7-3-12



FEELING LOW

NOWHERE ELSE TO GO



DON'T FEEL PITY FOR MY THOUGHTS



DON'T HAVE A PENNY

FOR THE COST



THE LEAVES BLOW DOWN THE ROAD

JUST LIKE ME

WITHOUT A CARE IN THE WORLD



MY MUSIC STAYS ALIVE

GIVES ME ANOTHER CHANCE

TO SURVIVE



IT MUST BECOME DARK

TO BE THANKFUL

FOR THE LIGHT



BEFORE I FORGET, MY NOTEBOOK WAS STOLEN, THIS IS WHAT I WROTE THAT I CAN REMEMBER......



TYPICAL NIGGA

LOVES WATERMELON AND CHICKEN

LIKE A MEXICAN

LIKES RICE AND BEANS

LIKE CHINESE

LIKE

CHICKEN CHOW MIEN



UNDER GOD'S WING



BIGGA FIGGA NIGGA

I CAN'T REMEMBER



MY EYES BLIND

FROM THE TEARS

I CRY

I TRY

TO BLOCK OUT THE TEARS



THE PAIN TO ESCAPE

THE RAIN

AFRAID TO DIE



HEAVEN IS A PLACE

I CAN'T WAIT TO SLEEP

WAKE UP TO A FAMILY

I HAVEN'T SEEN