End of Christmas/New Poem/New Year/Another beginning

I got my 32GB iPad 4 with Retina display yesterday and I must say, it's better than any slice of bread known to man. I am on top of the world. It was a long arduous wait but it was worth every minute! I am alive again with a feeling I have my power back with my music and HD videos. I am a powerful man once again. I am waiting for Crazy Larry to show up at the library as I download the documentary "History of the Eagles" which of course, I can't wait to see. The damn thing is 3 hours long and 9 GBs, glad I got the 32 GB iPad that doesn't expand but I know from experience it's better than any android for any price. Apple has the BEST products..PERIOD!..and I am not selling anything or being paid to say that...I created a new YouTube channel entitled "CrazyLarryShow" which should be a hoot! Rumor has it that he used to be a college professor. He denies the charges but he's a smart as f!ck homeless Jew from New York that has lived in my hometown of Marathon for years. Very entertaining without even trying. All the local cops know him and he is friends with Bill Bravo, a DJ at WEOW 92.7 radio station in Key West. He loves his Vodka and we have a intelligent great time. He doesn't pull any punches and doesn't take shit from no other bums! He is a true, penny pinching Jew from New York! Larry is a local "celebrity" that I wish to share with the world. So hold on to your ass and grab some popcorn. Without seeing or filming yet, I know in my heart of hearts, this will be a great show if not, The Greatest Show On Earth, P.T. Barnum ain't got shit on us!!

Enough blah shit ,
I called my one and only brother on Christmas, the only family member I have left on this planet. It was great to hear his voice on the other end of the phone from California.  I told him about my blog, I haven't talk to him awhile. Typing this on my iPad is a pain in the ass!! With that in mind, let me try and type my latest poems. It's random thoughts of my current situation. I am currently "watching/walking" 2 huskies named, Thor and Shadow. I sleep with them in the "dog house". To keep my keep plus 50 bucks at Tracy's Pet Grooming business. I rather do something than nothing. I will be going back to Key West by the 1st to work my seasonal job at Liberty Tax as the Statue of Liberty. It's dirty job but somebody's gots to do it. Without further to do, here are my latest thoughts. They're not much, but they are the first thing that came to mind at the time.

12-19-2013

Leave you in the dust
As you breathe your last breath
I will comfort you until your final death
Mourn the lost
Cry everyday
Because you're gone
Never to return

I feel the pain
Every minute of the day
The reason
I kneel down and pray

You gave me life
Then took my heart away
Left alone
With my lost soul

Words cannot explain
The pain I endure
Since the day you left

Teardrops on the page
I try to move on
Until my dying day

Give me strength
Give me hope
I thank God
You are in a better place

No matter how far you go
Mother
I want you to know
I still love you so

Written for Nancy Jane Jordan Berry Sanders MacDonald
The greatest Mother to live on Earth!

In God we trust
In God we pray

Without God
We pay the cost
Without God
I have no words
Thank you Lord
For my thoughts

Happy Birthday Jesus, thank you for your sacrifice!!




Sent from my iPad

The Crazy Larry Show is now available on YouTube. So without further a do, I introduce to you, the Crazy Larry Show, with more episodes coming soon....

I just launched my new YouTube channel,the Crazy Larry Show A homeless CRAZY as a Jewish man named Larry. This is the debut video I shot from my brand used iPad 4 in Retina display in front of the Marathon library. The URL is http://www.youtube.com/user/CrazyLarryShow .If the link doesn't work. Crazy Larry calls into the Key West WEOW 92.7 radio station and talks to DJ Bill Bravo on the phone. He was banned from the library for "cussing" out a librarian. I have to go now, because the library is closing now.

Thankful service on Thanksgiving / Tax Deductible Donations Accepted

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! I had a very emotional one. I attended church services at Saint Columba Episcopal church in Marathon on Thanksgiving day. It brought back a lot of memories. I wept throughout the service, trying to contain myself but it was uncontrollable. I used to be an acolyte for the church when I was 10 years old. I carried the cross up to the altar every Sunday morning. I actually held the door open for the present carrying cross acolyte on Thanksgiving day and mention to him that I had done the same when I was 10 years old. He said, "Funny how life circles around". Kind of eerie. My mother remarried my step father there in 1976. So I have a lot of fond memories of my mother and step father attending church services, religiously. (Sorry, I couldn't resist). My mom used to call me her "little angel". After the Thanksgiving service, they had a wonderful spread of food. I would like to thank the church and the Lord for giving me such a blessed day.......Now we can move on to Christmas. The birthday of Jesus Christ, as I understand it and believe it... What I don't understand is the greed and materialistic selfishness of Black Friday, Gray Saturday and Cyber Monday. Christmas to me, is not about buying stuff, it's about being with family & friends and celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. So why do we (humans) buy each other "presents" when it's Christs' birthday, for Christ's sakes!! Give me a break!! Do unto to others as you would have done to you.... I can't see the material money side of the "holidays", maybe because I currently have none, nada, zilch in terms of money and of course by now, unless you have been living in outer space or under a rock, you know that money can't buy you what?... LOVE,..Have you ever heard of or listened to the Beatles? If not, please just go back to sleep, we will not be needing your narrow minded, nonsensical point of spew. I got enough B.S. to dance around the holidays than to waste my precious time on Earth for you. Go to school, listen to the radio, or go to the library. Just get a damn education. Start with Life and Music 101. The correct answers are all there..... Any way, while we are on the topic of money and/or financial situations, I must let my unknown blog reading "fans" know of my current situation. (This is the part where you break out the Kleenex or a hanky)....I have been so financial frustrated. I applied for and qualified for Unemployment/Reemployment compensation in the first week of OCTOBER!! I have claimed 6 weeks of compensation at 78 dollars a week and have yet to get one thin dime!!! I called the 1-800 number to find out what in God's name is going on with my claim and the recording won't even let me hold on my Obama phone (wasting precious Obama minutes) for the next available representative. It just says, "We are experiencing high call volume. Please try your call again. Click!! It hangs up!! Infuriating!! They had a "feature" where you type in your phone number and they would call you back in the order your call was received. Not anymore! I would hold forever just to get some answers. But I can't even do that!! So I am waiting for a email response back after emailing unemployment about my (F'd up) situation.... So now I am broke and have been broke for almost 6 weeks. I got a couple of odd jobs through my friends that put a couple of bucks in my pocket. I don't need much. In a perfect world, which we all know isn't perfect. And if you don't know that, then you need to get yo ass back on the next space ship!!... Just 5.00 dollars a day is all I need. I am not afraid to work, in fact, I love to stay occupied as opposed to sitting on my ass looking stupid. It's hard to find a job. I have one starting back up in January (my 3rd year in a row, I might add and I stay until the end on April 15th, the end of tax season unlike every other "Statue of Liberty" that has ever done my job!) for Liberty Tax Service in Key West but I have to make it through all this Christmas cheer. Feeling down and out.....So please help out if you can with your tax-deductible "Christmas" donation payable via PayPal to my email address: kevinsanders2010@live.com or ">CLICK THIS LINK to be directed directly to my PayPal Donation/Christmas Gift Box. Thank you for your charitable contribution. You will be helping a homeless person in his hometown down on his luck, this Christmas season. (I certify, I really, truly am homeless. No B.S.!!) I guess, I still have some pride and shy and I can't "panhandle" in person. I know this is shameless and pathetic but I really don't know what else to do at this present time. Thank you so much for reading my blog. It's almost like talking to someone in outer space without a response............. And on that note. I have to leave you with not one but 2 videos. That kind of relate to, without giving it away. (I HAVE NOTHING TO GIVE UNLESS YOU GIVE IT TO ME!!)....Outer space and Christmas Drummer Boys. See if you can see the correlation of the constellation..... Merry Christmas!!....Peace, Love and Happiness On God's green Earth.!!....................... ...P.S. Sorry, I didn't have time to explain How to Buy AND Sell a 7 Mile Bridge, due to time constraints. Maybe next month.? One of these days. Until then, here's How to JUMP from a 7 Mile Bridge. Stand on the railing of the bridge (it doesn't really have to be 7 miles, give or take a few inches)... Make sure the water down below is deep enough (I don't know how to determine that, I'm a Jumper not a Diver) Then when all else has failed, do what David Lee Roth sez and, "JUMP!" ....... ****UPDATE**** This just in.****@#$%^ I called Unemployment/Reemployment today and I finally got through. The automated computer system said I had a 35 to 40 minute wait. I was so excited that I was hooked on the line to wait that I decided to wait the 35 or so minutes. I had 250 brand new Obama minutes on my phone. So I waited and waited, listening to the same broken record recording over and over. I had to get answers to my problematic question as to why I wasn't recieving my past 6 week payment claims and where my debit card was. One hour and 15 minutes later. YES. 75 MINUTES LATER, I heard a human voice unlike the recording. I had connected with a real LIVE person on the other end of the telephone line. I explained my problem, the operator put me on hold again to find out what the problem was and 10 minutes later she came back on the line to inform me that there was a computer glitch with my claim and notified technical services to remedy the snafu and that my card wouldn't be sent to me until my claim has been processed. I was kind of relieved in that it wasn't a problem with me and it was indeed a computer glitch. I love tecnology when it works but when it doesn't work, it can be the most frustrating pain in the ass. So we wait with baited breath and empty pockets. To look on the bright side. I will consider this experience long and arduous but yet see it as money in the bank savings account, in that I will get 6 weeks of 78 dollar a week payments in one lump retro sum of about 500 dollars or so, which will allow me to purchase a iPad as opposed to spending my 78 dollars a week and not being able to save my money on my own to get "another" iPad. (For those who don't know, my last iPad was stolen when I lent it to a friend) Who needs enemies? Good things come to those who wait. God works in mysterious ways. Materially, other than beer, food and cigarettes, all I want is an iPad (To do work and listen to my music) and then I will be a happy camper.... I will bees goods ta GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!) Happy Holidays!! ...Don't forget to donate to someone less fortunate than yourself. Praise the Lord and count your blessings.

12 Steps on How To Get Trespassed From A 7 Mile Bridge

I am back in my hometown of Marathon, Florida. Been back for about 2 weeks or so. Taking a break from the insanity of Key West. Last time I came back from Marathon to Key West to stay at K.O.T.S. I hadn't stayed there for about a month. Michelle, one of the check-in girls manning the entrance into K.O.T.S. asked me where I had been and I told her on vacation. That's a question they ask everybody checking in at the old home away from home hacienda. Some people have been in jail or slept out a few nights and K.O.T.S. actually writes down the reason for not being there for a period of time into their record books. I was only joking when I said I was on vacation but Michelle proceeded to mark down in the book that I was on vacation without a question or a laugh. I should of told her I was on a camping trip....So let's get into the intriguing title of this post as I am sure you are dying to know just how in the hell do you get trespassed from a bridge that is 7 miles long. Well I'll tell ya, it's really pretty easy........... Step 1: You check the forecast of the nights' weather to see if it will be raining throughout or at some point under the moon and darkness........ Step 2: You go boo hoo, after you find out that there will be a very good chance of rain at some point into the night...... Step 3: You think about a place you can sleep that has some kind of shelter so you do not get woken up by raindrops at 2 a.m. It's not fun, I've done it before..... Step 4: You think of a bridge which usually provides enough shelter to keep you dry. About 2 lanes of highway wide...... Step 3: You decide on going to the closest bridge to hide because you are walking and you don't have a bike yet....... Step 5: Sorry I forgot Step 5 and added a Step 3. I never said this was going to be easy. On to Step 6, shall we? I fucked up Step 5 so let's just move on..... Step 6: You arrive at the Stay Dry, Sleep Tight, Outta Sight Campground. Without reservations or a check-in, you find a dry spot underneath the bridge where those drops of rain won't get you...... Step 7: You pull out your red fleece blanky. Lie down and rest your head on whatever bags you may have to use as a pillow. Back packs usually work great...... Step 8: You should have some kind of alcohol and music to keep you company and forget about your worries and to help you go to sleep...... Step 9: You fall asleep or pass out depending upon how much alcohol you have consumed....... Step 10: You wake up by yourself (hopefully) and just as the sunrise begins to rise, you rise with the sun. Unless it's raining and you can't see the sun. Then skip Step 10 except for the part where you wake up. You have to at least wake up before you can move on to Step 11....... Step 11: You collect all your belongings, drink any open left over beer you didn't finish last night. Find a garbage can and throw the damn can into the garbage can. I know, it sounds elementary my dear Watson, but you'd be surprised at how many idiots can't throw their beer cans away with a trash can 2 feet away. Unbelievable!!...... Step 12: Sit on the steps and smoke your first morning cigarette (my personal favorite one). Watch a Monroe County deputy walk toward you underneath the bridge and ask you if you have been here all night? and you reply,without a lie, "Why, yes, officer, I was here all night". He proceeds to ask for your I.D. and runs your name, while asking if you have any outstanding warrants and you reply. "No, sir, I don't" Again, do not lie. The radio will tell the officer if you have a warrant or not. That's why the kind police officer takes your I.D. and has the dispatcher "run" your name to see if in fact, you DO have a warrant. Don't be a stupid fuck and act like you can fool the computer system, it's usually smarter than your dumb ass. Then you notice that the officer who is questioning you has the same last name as one of your fellow graduating class mates from Marathon High. You ask him if he has a brother named Danny? And he says, yes I do. Then you tell the officer that you graduated with him at Marathon High school in 1987. The officer responds with, "Yeah, he's my older brother living up in Georgia." The officer then asks, "Why are you homeless?" Then you reply with, "I tried to be a rock star and it didn't work out." The officer laughs and then tells you that you can't be under the 7 mile bridge anymore and if you come back, you will be arrested and that you have been warned and are officially trespassed from the seven mile bridge....... Bonus Step: After the officer says you are free to go. You get up and start stepping as fast as you can. In a different direction. While still steppin', start contemplating where you will sleep if it rains again and know for sure that you won't be sleeping under that same 7 mile bridge as the night before.......... Tune in next month when I show you, step by step,inch by inch, How To Buy AND Sell A 7 Mile Bridge. Thank you Lord for the blessings you have bestowed upon me...... Happy Thanks for giving. Count your blessings.....I gave blood yesterday. It's a great feeling to know my universal type O positive blood just might save a life and the 10 dollar gift card from Publix didn't hurt either. But the needle did a little. (I hate needles but I love helping people) Nothing three 4 packs of beer can't cure. Remember, somebody loves you, I don't know who? But I do know, somebody does!!....I wrote this little ditty this morning:....If the door is locked....Don't bother to knock...Pick up your socks...Cause this place...Is about to ROCK!!!!!....... ROCK ON!!!

Friends: Case In Point / B-side poems / Rants and Raves

The day after my birthday, my friend who has been letting me stay at her place temporary, sent a Facebook message saying that I need to stay away from the property because the landlord is there. It happens every 1st of the month. Not surprising. She said don't come back until Monday. Which I have no problem with, I hate to over stay my welcome, not that she wanted to "kick" me out, but it is for her own interest and business, which I fully understand (I sleep in the dog house, so to speak, she owns a dog grooming business, where I sleep on the floor, when it is closed) . I actually like sleeping outside, as long as I don't have a torrential downpour of raindrops falling on my head at 3 o'clock in the morning without cover. My biggest worry is that the cops might drive by and stop then arrest me for trespassing. My only and biggest concern. I have only gotten arrested 3 times for the heinous crime of open container in the park. Unknown charge number 9999999999.999 with a B.A.C. of 24.2 (Actually, I just made that number up, they don't even breathalyze you, they only do that to release you from jail for the Marchman Act which I am not proud to say, I've committed that "Act" twice but it's better than jail, 11 days vs. maybe 8 hours or until you sober up) An open container of alkeyhall is only a municipal ordinance and not even a misdemeanor, but a trespass is..... O.K. enough of that bullshit, let's move on, shall we..........,,,,,(,,,*__*,,,) Any who, where, why or what, I didn't have any money and I like to at least have a buzz when I sleep outside. I got my prepaid PayPal debit card in the mail that I have been waiting a week for. I had it sent to my friends' house in Marathon because they wouldn't send it to General Delivery, the homeless address. I finally got it yesterday and activated immediately, thinking the money I had in my PayPal account would be able to be withdrawn from my PREPAID card, once I had activated it. Not the case, as I should assume, everything goes wrong when I think everything is going right. I had to verify my card through the bank that the card is drawn on which of course, takes 2-3 BUSINESS days and I activated on a Friday. So I am thinking, absolutely no money at least until Monday and I can't go back to my "dog house" until then and go without beer, cigarettes or food over the weekend. Not a good position to be in...... The crux of the title of my story is this: I went walking down the street after leaving the library Friday evening without a dime in my pocket and my plastic bag full of extra clothes and water bottles. No alcohol, down to my last 3 cigarettes, wondering what I was going to do until Monday. After about a mile walk, I stopped at a vacant bus stop, one stop passed the one with people at it, one step closer to "home". ( I sleep along the front of the airport at the little parks with benches) While I was sitting at the empty bus stop, drinking my water, and thank God, actually my friend Crazy Larry, who gave me a radio to listen to, (I am completely lost without my music) I listened to the radio wondering how I was going to make it through the weekend without beer or cigarettes. I have a great time by myself if I have 3 things. Smokes, Beer and Music. I am good ta go! Ya heard me! I'ms GOODS TA GO!! (Black woman snapping her fingers like she on Living Color, ya feel me, yeah I taught so!!)..... Anyhow, while sitting alone at the bus stop,(Ironically across the street from 68th St., the first street I lived on in Marathon as a very young child) I hear this voice behind me that said, "Kevin" I turned around and it was my friend, Dave Rasmussen. I haven't seen Dave since I was like eighteen. I said, "Hey Dave, what's up?" He said he saw me walking down the road with my pathetic plastic bag, looking down and out.(Actually, he just said he saw me walking down the street, he didn't comment on my designer Gucci bag or my upbeat personality) We bumped fists and he handed me 2 fives and 10 ones. I was shocked!! Of course, I said, "Thanks, Dave" He asked if I was looking for work and I said yeah. He asked if I would be walking around town and I said yeah and Dave said, "O.K. I'll see ya around" I went from absolutely nothing to 20 dollars in mere seconds, without a hope in the world, unbeknownst to me. Not expecting anything from anybody. I can't even panhandle. I have to be really, really drunk to attempt that feat and that's a catch 22 because I don't have money to get drunk and I can't ask for money when I'm sober....... Anyway, it's amazing to me that people still remember me from my hometown when I'm down and out and treat me like it was yesterday when they last saw me and are willing to help when I need it most from out of the blue. There's been instances where I'll be sitting at a bus stop in Marathon and have a car drive by and yell my name. "Hey Kevin!" Some I remember and some I don't or didn't see who it was. It's a wonder how people, I essentially grew up with in my small hometown, are still here. A lot of people move away after high school because there's not much opportunity in Marathon. I'm not putting them down or anything like that. It's actually cool that people still recognize and remember me after all these years. It's a great feeling to know that I still have friends I can still count on. When you least expect it, from out of nowhere, in a little town I call home, when I am homeless, in Marathon, my friends are still alive and true when I have nobody else to turn to. You can bet your sweet little ass that I will remember my true friends when I become rich and famous (I hate the famous part but I wouldn't mine the riches, and I will share it with my friends who have stuck by me and helped me in a time of need) It will be returned 10 fold guaranteed. I don't have the means and ways YET! But I will die trying to get it and stop nothing short of death or breath to obtain my goal!! You can put those words in the bank! I hate to toot my own horn but I am a very generous person. If I got it, I give it, if I don't, I can't. It's as simple as that. I don't even know what frugal, thrifty or saving money means....hence, why I am broke and homeless!!! OOOOO.KKKKKKK. I'm tired of babbling, I needs to blow bubbles in my beer.... In case you were wondering if I am crazy or not, I will leave you with my random words and thoughts that I apparently wrote down at random times when I was drunk (Call em poems, lyrics, thoughts or whatever, I really don't give a fart) consider it cleaning out my closet. Here they are in raw, rare b-side form: 4-23-13 SHARE MY WORDS WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY..... AS YOU THINK YOU HAVE EVERYTHING DEATH BECOMES NOTHING..... NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE EXCEPT YOUR MIND AND SOUL....... WHAT DO YOU HAVE NOW? 6 FEET UNDERGROUND..... YOUR SOUL AND KARMA TO BE TAKEN SOON..... 4-23-13 PIGEONS KEEP ME SAFE AND WARM FROM HARM LIKE THE SUN IN A WINTER STORM..... I KNOW THE WORLD HAS NOT ENDED FOR ME I STILL HAVE A HOPE AND A DREAM..... YES YOU CAN CALL ME MARTIN LUTHER KING.... PRICE ON PAIN I COULDN'T PAY FOR..... I TRY TO ESCAPE WITH MY PEN AND WORDS......... NEXT POEM 4-22-13 SIT ALONE AS I CRY IN THE CORNER OF THE ROOM...... ESCAPE OR SO I TRY I KNOW I NEVER CAN...... HAVE FUN WITH FRIENDS LUCKY YOU HAVE...... AS I SIT ALONE CRYING A RIVER OF DREAMS WISHING I WOULD NEVER BE YOU.... LUCKY MAN YOU WISH YOU WERE ME I FEEL GUILTY NOW...... BECAUSE YOU WERE NEVER THERE WHEN I NEEDED YOU......... NEXT 3-22-13 A CHANCE TO DANCE AROUND THE OBSTACLES..... GIVE ME A LESSON TO LEARN BEFORE I PROMISE NEVER TO FORGET AGAIN.... ERASE MY MIND TO DO THE SAME THING..... CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD NOWHERE ELSE TO GO..... I HATE TO LEAVE WITHOUT A KISS..... GIVE ME SOMETHING TO FORGIVE AND MISS.... BE SURE YOUR NEXT STEP IS YOUR BEST..... AND NOT YOUR LAST...... I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU AS LONG AS I LIVE...... NEW POEM AS I MOVE ON GIVE ME MOTIVATION TO ESCAPE THE HELL I SEE..... GIVE ME STRENGTH BEYOND BELIEF... DIFFERENT FROM THE REST.... I SHOOT FOR THE STARS IN THE LONG SHOT OF THE DARK...... AT LEAST I TRY TO HIT A TARGET TO MAKE MY LIFE BETTER..... YOU'RE DONE I ALREADY WON.... THE OTHER MOTHERFUCKERS LIVE AIMLESSLY SAME THING DIFFERENT DAY I WISH I COULD CHANGE..... STUCK IN THE SAME RUT HOW CAN I JUDGE THEM WITH THE SAME FRAME OF MIND.... STILL WAITING FOR THE BUS THAT NEVER CAME.... TO TAKE ME OUT OF THE PLACE I DON'T WANT TO BE..... NEXT POEM 3-22-13 THE YELLOW FLOWER FELL IN FRONT OF THE LIBRARY.... DO I DARE PICK UP TO TAKE AWAY FROM THE BEAUTY THE BUTTERFLIES BEFORE ME..... A SAD PERSON WALKS PASS ME WITHOUT DIRECTION.... THE GAY PEOPLE LAUGH WITHOUT PERCEPTION..... A FEMALE BICYCLIST DIRECTS TRAFFIC DOWN A ONE WAY ROAD SHE WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG... AS I DOWNLOAD MY FAVORITE SONGS..... AS I SEE THE SUN GO DOWN.... THE JIBBER JABBER OF THE PASSERBYERS I WAVE GOODBYE.... DON'T DIE ON ME WHEN I NEED YOU MOST.... YOU HAVE A LOT MORE WORK TO DO COUNTING ON YOU TO SAVE THE WORLD.... WRITTEN IN FRONT OF THE KEY WEST LIBRARY................ NEW POEM GOD HAS GIVEN ME STRENGTH TO LIVE STRONG BEYOND WHATEVER YOU WANT TO BELIEVE.... TRUE STORY WITHOUT A LIE EVER TOLD TRUTH BE KNOWN GOD SAVES ALL OF OUR SOULS... GIVES US THE WISDOM WE DO NOT KNOW..... NEXT POEM DON'T THINK I CAN PAY FOR THE PRICE OF PAIN... ROUGH ROAD GETTING HARDER EVERYDAY TRYING TO MAINTAIN MY (IN)SANITY..... HANGING ON TO A ROPE THAT HAS ALREADY BEEN TIED SINK BELOW THE SEA UNTIL I DROWN... COME BACK TO LIFE NEVER TO BE FOUND AS TEARS OF JOY FALL DOWN... YOU MOTHERFUCKERS NEVER KNEW WHAT I COULD DO BEFORE... THINK AGAIN WITH YOUR SECOND OPINION.. MEANS NOTHING TO ME IN MY WORLD.... REALITY CHECK I DIE ALONE WITHOUT MY FAMILY.... HOPE AND PRAY WHEN I'M DEAD AND GONE.... I MIGHT SEE A FAMILY REUNION... MY FATHER FOR THE FIRST TIME BEFORE... TA DA!!!!!!!!!!!! ABABABABABABAB (It's suppose to sound like Porky Pig, you idiots!!) That's ALL FOLKS!!!................. Damn, I can't take you guys, ANYWHERE!! AND ONE MORE PIECE OF WISDOM,ADVICE and/or whatever you want to call it!!! Remember,.....................................................................If it smells like fish, make it a dish. If it smells like cologne, leave it alone. This message brought to you by the: Fishy Dish Safety Council........ And one more thoughtful insightful thoughtless thought... Having sex with a condom, is like taking a shower with a raincoat on! I probably just jinxed myself and I will get rained on without a raincoat at 3 o'clock in the morning while I sleep outside by myself. See, I know how to shoot myself in the foot. At least I'm passed the denial stage!!! Now it's time for me to be done and for you to GET OVER IT!!......... P.S. I am still working on my memoir book. I can use the computer all day at the Marathon library as opposed to the bums bumping me off at the Key West library. So I should be able to get a lot more writing done in Marathon. I lost/let a friend borrow my iPad for one night and he said it got stolen, so I am force to use the public library computers. I created a new Twitter account for my future book, Where Did My Life Go. You can follow on Twitter @MemoirBook. I don't even Tweet but you have to get the name while you can. Email me at: authorkevindalesanders@gmail.com .....I never read that account and probably won't respond but at least you have my secret email account. That's all that counts. Now I can sleep tonight and hopefully not get rained on. I think it's a 30% chance of rain and I 100% don't have a raincoat or umbrella. So if you hear of a bum drowning in his sleep after a torrential downpour in the Florida Keys it might of been me. If so, don't send flowers, just throw me in the ocean, I'll already be wet anyway. Save your money for somebody else's grave. Talk to ya'lls soon..... Contingent upon, if I don't get struck by lighting or get stuck in between a hurricane and a monsoon. Are you done YET?!?!?! BOUT TIME, DAAAAAMMMN!! XO ;).................................... But seriously folks, if I do go, I'll see you's all's on that there otherside. K That reminds me for some reason. (See I have too much time at the Marathon library. I have yet to be even close to bumped) There's like 5 computers open if you bums want to come on down and get your computer on. The pep rally cheer from my Marathon alma mater went like this:................ Who's the best? MHS (I have recently added) Who's the best? Not Key West................. Go DOLPHINS both MARATHON, MIAMI and FLIPPER!!....... (The voice of Cleveland Jr.).......IS WE DONE YET?!?!?!?! ZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZ

Halloween Birthday Blog!!

Star gate: October 31st, 2013 from halloweenbaby: Thank you all for your birthday wishes and thoughts. It is comforting to know that I still have friends in the world no matter how far they may be. For example, a childhood (Facebook) friend has took me in and is "taking care" of me in (my hometown of) Marathon.(temporary) So to speak. (Get your freaky, dirty minds out of the gutter. That's where I sleep!!) Speaking of which, I woke up this morning on my birthday on a Bed, ( Actually, on the floor, but nonetheless, with a roof over my head) Breakfast ( Excellent bacon, eggs, taters, and toast, all prepared in a microwave, except for the toast, that was cooked in a toaster oven, it's not cheating if you have one) AND BEER!! (The breakfast of champions!!, I feel like Bruce Karshashian, I mean, Jenner. Blame that error on the beer, I'm used to it, everybody else does, and I haven't had Wheaties since the day Bruce KarJenner was on the cover!!) Anyway, let's recap, I use too many commas and parentheses.(,,,,,,,,,,,,,,) So I woke up to: Bed, Breakfast and.....BEER!!! And I don't even have a dollar in my pocket, on my birthday. That's what friends are for. Not that you should use friends to take advantage of them but knowing that you really do have TRUE friends that would take you in to help you out when you need it the most, means more to me than the world and money. It truly is something you can't buy and is priceless. On that sad, sopping note and my (already) drunk friends, distracting me. It takes a lot to write a blog with one hand, a beer in the other with a cigarette in my mouth. And I'm ambidextrous!! Any who, Happy Birthday to me and Happy Halloween to you!! Boo Hoo Who? Follow my Halloween tweet @halloweenbaby And don't forget the shittiest country band in the world...KISS..no, wrong answer it's FALL DOWN DADDY!!! Available on iTunes, Amazon and 750 other online "retail" outlets that I can't remember. File a lawsuit, I STILL have NO money!!! Speaking of which, you can send/email Halloween Baby birthday donations to my Major Jordan Productions (named after my grandfather Major Jordan who served in the Air Force in WWII), PayPal account to kevinsanders2010@live.com (And get/ take a tax right (I know how to spell the correct word correctly, WRITE) off ) I should no (know) I will be again working for Liberty Tax Service in January as the one and only Statue Of Liberty, let freedom ring !!! Meanwhile, I"m still waiting for my reemployment compensation, to survive until then.... But the thing that has more value than money/monetary/material things is that...I still have friends!! Again...not that I really lost them, I just had to find them again!! Thanks Facebook!! Happy October 31st, 20013 (One year more, OMG, I'm friggin' 44!!!!!!!!!!!!!!O P.S. I just got a lap dance from a drunk gay guy singing Happy Birthday to me, thinking she's Marilyn Monroe (County)and offered a "oral offer" and wanted to "blow out the candle" as I try to explain that I am NOT gay!!! I may be feminine in some of my ways, crossing my legs but I can guarantee you that I am still NOT gay!! GET A CLUE!!! HEEEEEYYYY! I can speak/type gay, but unfortunately I am not like you. But my brother IS gay AND he's not only a cancer doctor but a Oncology Professor!!! But he already bought a house with his lover!! So I guess you're shit out of luck (SOL LOL)...On that blogging note as the @poeticdrummer (On Twitter, I have over 40 other Twitter accounts) I must leave you with my latest poem: DOO DOO SHIT YOU NEED TO THINK ABOUT SHIT/ BEFORE YOU DOO DOO SHIT/ FLUSH IT DOWN THE TOILET/ BEFORE THE SHIT TALKIN BEGINS/ NEVER KNOW WHO'S SHIT YOU'LL BE UP AGAINST/ LOOKING DOWN THE LIBRARY AISLES/ SEARCHIN FOR A BOOK WITH BEDROOM SMILES/ WONDER WHAT I MIGHT FIND BETWEEN THE STYLES/ MAYBE DISCOVER A SECRET FILE Written @ the Marathon Public library

Back in Key West, Hopefully, not for long, back to Marathon

I am back in Key West. One day back from Marathon, in 30 minutes at Bayview (Bumview, I coined the pharse for the record) Park after I had been in Marathon for about 3 weeks drinking beer in front of the cops, deputies from the Sheriff's department, my friend Lisa got arrested for an open container while I sat next to her in the park at Bum-view on the metal picnic table. I couldn't believe it!! She's facing prison time for the bust because she was on probation and because of the incident, violated probation and might do prison time. Ridiculous! BTW, I needed to go back to Key West because I had my new food stamp card sent there because my old cards' magnetic strip wasn't reading on the register from being wore out... I need to get back to Marathon because my spider senses are tingling sitting at Bum View and I know they do "sweeps" just before Fantasy Fest which is not too far away and I sure as hell don't want to spend my birthday, (Halloween) ;) in jail. So, I haven't stopped drinking, I just don't do it in Bumville. You can't even HAVE alcohol in the park, open or sealed, which KWPD officer DuPonty has informed me and my other drinking buddies as well, as his statement has stated, "He doesn't like arresting us but he is just doing his job and if he doesn't do his job he would end up like us and one of my friends replied with, "If you do lose your job at least you know we will have a beer here for you" Fact is, he doesn't have to arrest us it's up to his discretion, (his "call" for you dumb asses without a dictionary) but he does. There's a cool female cop named, Ms. Beeman, who would of just told us to pour whatever we had and moved on, unless, of course, you catch her on a bad day. It's an municipal ordinance, not even a misdeameanor!! A waste of time and double standard in my eyes considering the fact that "tourist" walk up and down Duval street all the time with open alcohol containers and never even get a ticket. Which it is a "ticketable" offense, as far as I know, but DuPonty to be specific, the only cop who has arrested all of my Bumview friends for the same open container bullshit offense, seems to prey on us "bums" at the park......I am tired of typing about that, let's move on, shall we?..... Actually I just got "Bumped" from the Key West computer at the library...Bumped, not bummed, because somebody needs a computer, to where as I stayed on the Marathon computer, all day from 10 am to 5 pm....anyway until next time..

Chapter 1 - Family History and Childhood Memories

I am back in my hometown of Marathon, Florida. I escaped the dreaded Key West. I thought and still think it would be a nice change of scenery. Luckily, I was able to connect with a childhood friend who owns her own business in Marathon now and who has helped me out immensely. I'm surprised that I still know somebody in my little small town that has since become a city. Most people move away after high school to start their adult life with more opportunity. There's not much opportunity in the Keys. When I was in my senior year at Marathon High school, I almost became a Sheriff's deputy having been in the Sheriff cadet explorer program and promoted to sergeant. But I decided to try and become a rock star drummer instead not to mention the fact that I was arrested for falsifying a police report when I tried to cover up my friend from being in trouble with his parents, let alone the law, when he crashed my car into a telephone pole and I reported it as stolen. I was arrested but never jailed and my friend was arrested, when I told the officers the "real" story, at his work minutes later. The authorities tried to pin me with the 1500 dollar telephone pole bill so I had to say something in my defense.... Anyway, it's nice to be back. I am still currently unemployed. There is less competition here in Marathon but on the other hand, again, a lot less opportunity. But a lot more laid back and a lot less bums. And a HUGE factor, the deputies don't enforce the open container b.s. ordinance like (nothing better to do) Key West P.D.does. I just have to worry about trespassing....I am currently in writing mode for my book about my life experiences. Writing it apropos at the Marathon library across the street where I went to elementary school and next door to the hospital where I spent a few months and where my mother used to work and the Sheriff's department on the other side of the library door where I almost became a deputy. The current working title of the book I have come up with is: Where Did My Life Go? Hopeful to Homeless. Of course, that could change, but at this moment I like the ring....Below is a unfinished rough draft of the first chapter. Stuff I find somewhat boring but nonetheless important (sounds like school) especially if I am going to write about my life. You have to know the history to see how the story unfolds. The dichotomy of certain situations that unfold is a little eerie, if I do say so myself. Explaining it so that it makes sense is going to be difficult but, guess what?, I have nothing better to do. Maybe good for you. Only you can be the judge. All I can say is I find it to be a fun challenge to say the least if my memory serves me correctly. Since music is my life, I have tried to find songs that relate to a certain time that I am explaining in the book. Songs are in between these things {  } called brackets?

I don't want to sound pompous or whatever. I believe everybody has their own book/story. My story is not better than anybody else' I'm just trying to write down my experiences. Take em or leave em. I am trying to take the time to explain in book form because, again, I have nothing better to do! I already wrote the shittiest country song of all time! It's time to move on. Difference with writing a book though, I have FULL control. I can only blame myself if I write the shittiest memoir of all time. Even though God is the only one who can judge me, I will allow you the opportunity to judge my book and come up with your own thoughts and criticism.

CHAPTER 1 - FAMILY HISTORY and CHILDHOOD MEMORIES

{Music - Ramblin' Man - Allman Brothers}

 

 

          My life began on October 31st, 1969, Halloween evening in Miami, Florida at Cedars Of Lebanon hospital. I was a breech baby given birth by my 40 year old mother, Nancy Jane Jordan Sanders, who was a registered nurse who went to nursing school in Chicago, Ill. My biological father, William Fred Sanders, life ended on October 10th, 1970, almost a year after I was born, shot and killed by a shotgun by one of my cousins when my drunken father tried to enter their house. The courts later deemed the murder as a justified homicide. They warned him to leave and he didn't heed the warning, therefore leaving me fatherless.

 

       My mother decided to move down to the Florida Keys, landing in Marathon. Leaving my 18 year older half brother, John Michael Berry, in Miami so he could attend the University of Miami medical school. My mother found a job at Fisherman's hospital and tried to find various babysitters to watch over me while she worked. I have heard stories of me as an infant/toddler such as me pulling the crap I just shit in my diaper and finger painting the walls of the apartment or spreading toothpaste all over the clean laundry to taking off out of the house and running up the street towards the busy main highway, U.S.1 just before my mom ran after and caught me. My favorite in the crib story was when my brother was having a party at the house and he was baby sitting me in another room. They had loud music playing and my brother Michael thought he heard me crying in the other room and ran in to see if I was o.k only to find me swaying back and forth to the music in my crib with a smile on my face.

 

       When I was 5 years old my mother remarried a very prominent man in Marathon named Donald "Doc" MacDonald. He was one of the first doctors as well as the constable in Marathon and a member of just about every club in town including the American Legion, Elks, Moose and the Masonic Lodge, among others. They were married at St. Columba Episcopal church and had the wedding reception at the Elks lodge where I first met Shamila and her mom, Yvonne and grandparents, Don and Nadine Stone. Shamila, I would later find out, was the daughter of Steve Perry, the lead singer of the band Journey. More on that later in the book. My parents went to Georgia on their honeymoon with me in tow. My step father had a friend up there named Ed Lumpkin. We spent about a week up in Georgia. Ed had a son named, King, who was about 17 years old who turned me on to the band, KISS. That would change my life.

{Music - Good Times - Chic}

 

       My mom would take me to the roller rink to skate. I apparently became good enough to become the roller hockey team mascot. The team was called the Rolling Devils and went on to become national champions. I didn't wear a costume. The hockey team gave me a shirt that read, what else?, Hockey Team Mascot. They also bought me a pair of custom made Riedell hockey boots. I was treated like a rock star before I even knew what a rock star was. It seemed I could do no wrong and the girls adored me. I had snow white hair that everybody loved and would comment on.People would call me cotton top, Q-Tip and toe head. My mom used to ask me, "Do you know how much money girls pay to get their hair your color?" and I would just look at her puzzled not knowing what that even mattered. I just wanted to have fun skating. Too young and shy to get girls at the time. The roller rink had Saturday matinees that included games like the limbo, hokey pokey and relay races. I was the champion in relay racing winning every race I was challenged except for one Saturday afternoon when a African-Amercian kid came to the roller rink which was unheard of. Marathon was a very segregated town having most, if not all, of the "black" people living on one street, 41st Street better known as the "rock". I skated a race against the black kid and he beat me as the whole hockey team and roller rink was cheering me on. I was still loved by everyone at the rink.

 

       At the age of 6, I was living at the end of 22nd Street in Marathon in a duplex. One Sunday afternoon I was playing at a construction site across the street with a girl my age and we were making sand castles. She told me to run and get more sand. As I took off running, I tripped on a board and landed the wrong way, I assume the wrong way because I broke my right femur and started screaming bloody murder. I had never broken any bone in my body up until that point but I knew that it was broken. I tried to stand up and fell right back down. The girl ran to my house to get my step father. He came out and thought my leg was just sprained and told me to get up and I screamed I couldn't. My step father carried me into the duplex, put me on the bed and took off my shoes with me still screaming and crying that my leg was broken. He called my mother who was working at Fisherman's hospital and she told my step father to bring me to the hospital. He drove me in the car to the emergency room. After X-rays, the doctors determined that my leg was indeed broken. The doctors admitted me into the hospital and put me in traction for 3 weeks to align my femur before putting a body cast on all the way down my right leg up to my waist and halfway down to my left knee with a broomstick in the middle for support. I would stay in the hospital for a total of 3 months. While in the hospital my second grade teacher brought my whole class over to the hospital to come visit me, which I thought was very cool. Being a small town, it was convenient too as the hospital was across from the school. During that time my parents sought out legal counsel to see about a lawsuit against our landlord, the owner of the construction site. They filed a lawsuit against the landlord for medical expenses and pain and suffering on my behalf. The court would rule in my parents favor stating that there was no "Keep Out" or "No Trespassing" signs posted on the construction site.(It seems being homeless today, I can't go ANYWHERE in Key West without seeing a "No Trespassing" sign and running the risk of being arrested.) 

 

            My medical expenses were paid and my parents were awarded 25,000 dollars after the settlement. They used the 25,000 dollars as a down payment on a brand new 14 X 60 mobile home trailer. Of course, after you sue your landlord, chances are you have to move somewhere else. My parents found another duplex on 107th Street in Marathon to rent before I was released from the hospital and buying the new trailer. I went to the new duplex on a 107th and had my own bedroom. I was still on crutches, still fragile and basically, learning to walk again. I finally could ditch the crutches and started walking around my new neighborhood, meeting other kids in the area. There was a magazine distribution center across the street from where my duplex was. I discovered one day in their dumpster that they would throw out out of date magazines. They would cut them in half but other than that you could get some good pictures. My friend and I found Playboy and Hustler magazines. My friend lived next door and had built a fort in his backyard, a place where we would smoke cigarettes and just get away from everybody, especially our parents and post dirty pictures of women inside the fort. I also found magazines with pictures of my favorite band, KISS. I plastered the pictures all over my bedroom walls and windows. I was obsessed with KISS. My parents didn't seem to mind, at least my mom didn't care, my step father wasn't too thrilled about the whole thing but let it go. My mother would take me to a local gift shop called Rainbow Unlimited which carried 8-track tapes of bands. She would buy me whatever KISS tape I wanted. I didn't really know the song titles so I would pick a tape I didn't have by the album cover. If I didn't get a tape, I would raise a fit and start crying and then she would get pissed off at me after she had bought me a tape and I would tell her I loved her and she would scream, "You only love me because I bought you a tape!!" I still feel guilty because of that to this day. I really did and still do love my mother even though she is no longer around. One of the neighborhood kids used to get off the bus and go to his house and give me a Dixie cup of water with red food coloring in it and I would do my Gene Simmons impression and spit blood and the other kids loved it. I never saw KISS live in concert during the 70's. I just had those magazines and 8 track tapes.

          My parents found a mobile home they liked and put a down payment on the trailer. My step father financed the rest of the balance through his boss, Hank Kokenzie who was the director of the Veterans Affairs in Key West. The trailer was delivered to a vacant lot next to the American Legion until my parents could find a lot to rent and put the trailer on. Easier said than done. My parents looked everywhere in Marathon. There were no vacant lots or the trailer was too big to fit. After weeks of searching, we found a lot at the top of 82nd Street. Conveniently located across the street from one of the clubs my step father belong to, the Elks club.Perfect!!! We set up the trailer. The inside was so brand new, I remember the smell and what seem to be toxic fumes from the glue or something. We stayed there without electricity for a couple of weeks waiting to get the electricity hooked up. At this point, my mother started working for a private practice doctor, E.J. Eisenbarth, another pioneering doctor in Marathon. Dr. Eisenbarth and 3 other doctors decided to build a brand new medical office building in Marathon. They found the perfect spot on 82nd Street where our mobile home was. My parents had to find another lot for the trailer, again!! There was a lot open that would fit our trailer on 41st Street which was prominently, if not all, black people which scared my mother to death. She was crying, worrying about the black kids picking on me or what not and she wasn't going to move the trailer there regardless of whatever. Although it would of been so convenient being that 41st was right across the street to the American Legion, in which my parents went to everyday. Instead, my parents kept looking and looking, moving slowly north until they found Jolly Roger trailer park on Grassy Key at mile marker 59. The space, lot 106 at Jolly Roger was 9 miles away from "downtown" Marathon, it was the best spot in the park. Right on a canal overlooking the Gulf of Mexico that you could see the sunset every evening looking outside of our kitchen window. Without any other options, my parents decided to move to Grassy Key.

Chapter 2 -  To be continued......

 

Smokin' and Drinkin', On a Bum Budget

Sorry for the delay but I'm not on a schedule. I am as free as a bird and with freedom there comes a price. Nothing is free in this world. I don't mind the fact that I sleep in the "streets". I am lucky to have a secret sleeping spot that has a awning over my head to keep me from getting wet from the rain and nobody, especially a cop, has yet to find me sleeping there. So I am thankful for that. As far as feeding my nicotine addiction without any income whatsoever is a pain in my ass. I am force to resort to "sniping". (And no, it's not shooting at someone from a long distance) Sniping is picking up cigarette butts off the street or out of an ashtray to smoke what is left of the discarded cigarette. Pretty pathetic, I know. But it is what it is and right now it is my current reality. I am out of food stamps until the 7th of the month and thank God for the daily soup kitchen feeding at 4pm or I'd be starving. Sometimes if I wake up around 3 a.m., I will walk down to Duval street and try to pick up some pizza thrown out in the garbage from unsold slices from Paradise pizza and have a little early morning snack. The pizza is inside the box usually sitting on top of the other garbage. I found one whole pepperoni pie in a box, untouched, one night. But that has been it. The competition is fierce between the bums in terms of searching and finding anything like money. I found a 20 dollar bill one night and another 20 a few nights later but this pass week has been miserable, finding nothing. Be it rain or lack of tourist or other bums finding "it" before you, it's been a rough week...... Key West has a legal panhandling zone down by Mallory Square but you have other bums vying for the end spot to get the money from the tourist. One day I was there with a friend, we were there before this other guy came along with a sign, and the other guy came up and said, "Excuse me" to my friend and my friend said, "Excuse me what?" and the other guy claimed that that was his spot and wanted my friend to move and he didn't. So, a verbal fight broke out and then the other guy took a swing at my friend and grazed his temple, my friend took his painting pole out to defend himself and the other guy brandished a knife while some tourists observed. One tourist even video taped the incident on her iPhone. The cops rolled up with Tasers in hand and ordered the man with the knife (which he had already tried to stash) on the ground and one of the witnesses pointed out where the knife was and the other guy was taken to jail. Still claiming, telling the cop that "It was HIS spot" as the cop informed his that it WASN'T his spot and that the city of Key West owns that spot. So it can be ruthless and dangerous just trying to panhandle some money. I personally can't panhandle or ask for money. Maybe it's pride, I don't know. But I just can't bring myself to do it. I don't have "game" or a "hustle". It's just not me. I can hold a sign but that's about it. Which after 2 days made me about 3 dollars in the hot sun. Not worth it. I rather chance my luck walking around to find change or a dollar bill on the street. My friend Derek can make roses out of palm tree leaves and I try to sell them. We sell a couple but not many and he has to be in the "mood" to make them which is rare.... I picked up a new trick last night from my new running partner Derek called "Ma Dicker". Which is gross but it does work with any luck. Ma Dicker is where you find half drunken drinks along railings, sidewalks and dare I say even in garbage cans and you simple pick them up and drink them, like a true out of money, out of work, out of alcohol, thirsty soon to be drunk bum. The cost.......wait for it......PRICELESS. I need a friggin' MasterCard sponsorship. Maybe I can make money that way?...Hmmmmmm. OR maybe, uh, GET A FUCKIN' JOB, like everybody else!!! WHAT A CONCEPT. Easier said than done, especially when you're a bum. Sounds like a song lyric. When your clothes are dirty or not interview worthy. Or you don't have a phone so they can contact you. I hear that really helps when searching for a job. But what the hell do I know......I almost forgot, while me and Derelict were Ma Dickerin' we came upon a man dressed in a Darth Vader costume playing a banjo and he asked if we would like some wine. Puzzled and perplexed we said, SURE!!!! and Mister Vader handed us a bottle of unopened Pinot Noir....True story, C'mon, I can't make that shit up.... What a pathetic, poetic ending to a perfectly fucked up evening.....Happy Ma Dickering!!! Save me a cup, you greedy bastard. CHEERS!!!

Vacation for 8 Days at Camp Cupcake

Got thrown in jail again. For the third time in Key West for the same horrendous, heinous crime of municipal ordinance violation unknown count 999999999. Better known as drinking a beer in a public park. Frank Du Ponty got me, KWPD's new homeless harassment cop. I think Officer Mitchell got promoted or something or just got tired of dealing with the residentially ridiculous skally wag scoundrels cause I haven't seen him around for a while. Anyway as the title states, I only spent 8 days in the County cupcake (Jail), I got my asthma inhaler, which I was out of, so I could breathe again. That was nice. And it cost 70 dollars at the drug store. FREE if you go to jail, PRICELESS!! The food sucks and the portions are small and I don't eat that much. The other inmates 25-35 in age have family, girlfriends who send them commissary food packages so they don't starve. Top Ramen soups being a hot commodity, damn near a delicacy in jail, pathetic. I hate those things when I'm in the free world. My inmate number stays the same throughout my possible future stays in the Monroe County jail and that number is 76114107. So if you see me on www.keysso.net  think of me and send a damn care package, damn it!!!www.icaredirect.com  I'm not planning on going back but you never know. That's one of the reasons I'm moving back up to Marathon, there is no open container law in Marathon, or they don't enforce it unless you're an asshole. But I am a respectable, homeless drunk, at least I put my beer or whatever in a can't see through cup. Hell, Officer Duponty even said I was a nice guy but still had to arrest me and explained he was just doing his job........ My current bank account is -negative 42.53 because I signed up for a monthly subscription to promote the shitty song I paid 200 dollars to have made with my words. With overdraft fees and monthly fees it keeps adding up. Now, if I went to go use my debit card in a local store to buy a pack of cigarettes in person and I only had 1.00 in my account and the cigarettes were 1.06. The card would of been declined and would not have been over drafted. But if I sign up for a on going monthly charge online for 25.00 to promote some stupid ass song, it takes it right out of my checking account, no problem. I was in jail at the time, so I couldn't cancel the subscription. I wrote a email to Wells Fargo letting them know that I currently have no income and they cut my over draft fees in half, ain't that sweet? Speaking of no income, I thought I would get unemployment when I got back into the real world from my vacation but nooooo. I didn't make enough money to get an unemployment check. The 3 and a half months I worked as the Statue of Liberty I only made 2,700, but you have to make at least 3,400 to get an unemployment check. So I am screwed. I am going to Marathon this weekend to find a job. Too much B.S. and competition in Key West. Not to mention, stumbling over, walking over too many BUMS...I'm a bum and I can't stand them myself. Some of the pathetic bums are downright ANIMALS!!  People with a life, a home and a little money are lucky they can bypass the bullshit....... In more open container drinking bum news, The Key West Citizen newspaper reports the county is complaining about the medical expense that the bums cost the jail because they got busted for an open container...I have the solution!!! It's pretty simple, at least from the point of bum view I have.... When the cops roll up on the dastardly drinking bums.. Have the cops tell the drunken bums to pour out ALL of their "alkeyhall" (alcohol, for you idiots) and DON'T arrest them. If they are belligerently drunk, causing a problem, MARCHMAN ACT the dumb sums of BITCHES!!! That will cut down on most of the medical cost. They stay in a holding cell until they sober up and blow zeros. Then you release them at 4:01a.m. in the morning and send them on their happy ass way........The bums will have to wait until 7:00a.m. until they can buy alcohol again. That will piss them off to the hilt!! Guaranteed!! To me, it's worse than going to jail especially if it happens enough times. Not to mention the long walk back to get their bike or to the place they like to drink......
My solution will work, in fact it will increase alcohol sales for the city of Key West because if you keep pouring out all their alkeyhall they will keep buying more because they are not going to stop drinking unless they run out of money and then when they run out of money and shoplift a Nasty Ice or El Four Loco then you can actually get them on a real misdemeanor crime charge rather than a petty ass bullshit unknown municipal nuisance ordinance....Duh!.... O.K. that's my 2 cents for now, my time has run out at the library. btw fyi...I am at the mercy of the library computers because my iPad was stolen when I let one of my "friends" hold it overnight...Gullible me, life on the streets...Now go buy my song, "Alcohol Call" so I can quit living in the streets and live in a apartment, or buy a condo, mansion, boat, house, yacht, tent, shack,out house, hole in the wall ...Fall Down Daddy is the band name on iTunes and other places like Amazon...For pity sake, I know the song sucks!!!..But that half of 99 cents adds up and if I get enough people to buy it and once I get enough moolah to buy anything that has four walls and a roof, THEN everybody who purchased or help to purchase the shittiest country song ever made, will not only own the shittiest country song ever made BUT will also be invited to the B.Y.O.B. (I have no money) Housewarming Party!!! (save your receipt(s) for admission!!!) I think it might be a tax write off too!! ...If you're feeling really charitable you can buy the song on this link www.reverbnation.com/falldowndaddy and 50% of the sales will go to the www.sweetrelief.org  foundation that helps musicians in a time of need and I still get .56 cents!!! What a great deal and even better karma!!!.....Until we meet again friends, I should be up in Marathon if I can garner up 4 bucks to get on the bus....~Wasted again in Marathonaville, where I can drink a beer without gettin hassled by the cops, searchin  my open container for a drop~.......;)

Assumptions, Allegations,A Holes and Opinions

Becoming and being Homeless

Assumptions, Allegations, Assholes and Opinions

When I was fifteen I had decided that I was going to become a rock star drummer just like my idols had became. I learned how to play drums by listening and watching them. I have never taken a drum lesson in my life but I could play. So I thought, I have this wonderful gift and I love playing, why not do it for a living? All the bands I loved and heard about were rich, had girls falling all over them and they seemed like they were having a good time. Why wouldn't I want to do what they did? Little did I know at a young tender naive age.

I was hell bent on making my dream happen. Whatever it took. That's all I wanted to do. I remember saying to myself and other people, "I am going to be a rock star or become homeless". One of the two was going to happen. I wanted ALL or nothing, and NOTHING was going to stand in my way!!

I remember saying, "I am going to be a rock star and if I do become homeless, I would just try to rob a bank then I would either get away with the money or get busted, locked up in jail/prison then I wouldn't be homeless anymore with 3 hots and a cot". But now that I am actually homeless, I would never rob a bank, I like my freedom too much.

A lot of people ask me why and /or how I became homeless or make assumptions on different reasons. As far as I have reflected on the past and analyzed the situation that I am in, there are many different factors and circumstances that have put me in a place without a home. To start, I was not raised in a wealthy family, born without the so called " silver spoon". (Please note that I am not trying to make excuses just trying to retrace the steps/bad decisions that I have made or circumstances that changed my direction through no fault of my own.) I should of had a back up plan in case my dream fell apart. But through my stubborn determination I did not. I joined and played in a few bands, some more successful than others but nonetheless none of them proved to be profitable enough to make a living. Some of the regular jobs to pay the rent and put food on the table while I pursued my dream were really good and I enjoyed but they either eliminated my position or just went plain out of business. Some of them, I am sure I would still be there if those situations didn't happen but they did, beyond my control. One big factor for being residentially challenged is the fact that I am terrible with money. I can't save money to save my life. I've always had this crazy philosophy that, I would hate to die with a million dollars in the bank without the chance to spend and enjoy the money. Not that I have had even close to that amount of money in the bank.

But that has always been my thinking, as crazy as it may be, it is the truth.

My brother has been very supportive in the pursuit of my dreams. He has gotten me out of more troubled times than I can count. He has helped me out in more ways than anybody else in my life. The sheer fact that I was even able to go to California was because he lived there and I was able to stay with him until I was able to support myself. A lot of the things that happened or opportunities that were presented to me would of never happen if it wasn't for him. I thank The Lord for putting my sole brother into my life everyday.

Some people have an opinion on the homeless. Some have been homeless, I would say most have not. It's not something most people dream about becoming. Little Johnny doesn't say, " I wanna be homeless when I grow up" and I would concur with my own previous statement, if I can. I didn't choose to be homeless, it's something that happens, be it through bad decisions, wrong turns or circumstances out of ones' control. I don't really believe in luck. Maybe because all I seem to have or get is bad luck. I believe everybody has the power to create their own destiny, at least to a certain extent. The decisions you make today will shape what happens to you tomorrow and into the future. 

Wanting to be a rock star or actually, wanting to make a living at playing drums is what I set out to do. I feel fortunate enough that I found my "calling" if you will. Some people go through life not knowing what they really want to do in life and then they just settle for something less fulfilling to pay the rent and put food on the table. They have a roof over their head and I don't, so who is the fool?  They  probably look at me on the street and feel sorry for me or think I'm a lazy bum that won't get a "job". I can't assume what people think, I personally can't stand assumptions. I think you know what it does to you and me but yet people still do it, yes even me. But I guess that is how society works. It loves to judge or guess at what the unknown truth might be, I guess the unknown is scarier than the truth, at least it seems that way to me. Remember, these words are only my opinion. Believe what you want to believe. I can't tell you what it's like to live in mansion in Beverly Hills but I've been to Beverly Hills. Only looking on the outside by the side of the road, of course. One of my personal assumptions of people who live in a mansion in Beverly Hills is that they are snooty, stuck up and on themselves and/or just plain don't give a fuck about anyone else. But then I guess I would have to assume that since I live in a cardboard box on the side of the street means that I am sensitive to other people's needs, open to lend a helping hand when needed and care about everybody in the world (except for those "snooty" motherfuckers living in Beverly Hills) and that assumption would be right!  (Kind of kidding)

If there was not some truth to stereotypes and assumptions, there wouldn't be any stereotypes or assumptions. I'm gonna catch hell for the next few words but I am speaking from my observations and thoughts, just because I am not afraid of the truth or the consequences,  I have nothing left to lose. Sue me if you don't like what I am about to write, I have NO MONEY!! Good luck with your attorney, the bill is in the mail, bet your ass. Anyway, do African-Americans love chicken? Do Asians love rice? Do the Irish love to drink?

If you answered YES to the above questions, you would be correct! Congratulations!! Now before you get your panties in a bunch, not ALL African-Americans love chicken, Not EVERY Asian loves rice, nor does EVERY Irish person love to drink. But through MY personal experience, I have NEVER met a African-American who DOESN'T love chicken and watermelon for that matter or an Asian who DOESN'T love rice or an Irish person who DOESN'T love to drink. I'm sure they are out there but they have yet to cross my path. Just sayin, to make a point somewhere here.

My point being, I think, is......not ALL bums,vagrants,(whatever you want to call them) homeless people are worth less. I call SOME of them animals, personally. I've "lived" with some of them in a shelter, hence my basis on my opinion. Some of "them there homeless" dare I call them "people" are worth less pieces of shit, in my opinion, call me an asshole, I don't give a F. I give A's, I'm nice like that, as long as you do your homework, on time!! Let me digress, and digest before I get away from the point I was trying to make.

I know people at the local animal, uh, homeless shelter that get a monthly crazy or crippled check. They jumped through the hoops and qualified somehow. Good for them. Let's say for argument sake, they get a $1,000 dollars a month. If they paid $500 dollars in rent for an apartment, they would only have $500 dollars for the rest of the whole month to drink and/or eat. I'm not good at math, probably why I am always broke and homeless. But why pay $500 dollars in rent when you can live somewhere, i.e.. homeless shelter, for free?

Of course, there are "perks" to living independently with a roof over your head with your own private bathroom, living room and bedroom. Go to sleep when you want with your own blanket and pillow without harassment from the cops for sleeping in the public park, stay dry on a rainy day, watch what YOU want to watch on T.V., take a shit when you want without searching for a bathroom on the street for customers only when you have no money to buy something to become a customer. But if you don't need all those "amenities", then WHY would anybody in their bad at math right mind pay $500 dollars a month for rent? Because that's what you're SUPPOSED to do, as society dictates.

My personal perspective, knowing what I know and what I've been through, rent to ME, is a waste of money. I rather buy a house than give some landlord $500 a month just to give me a kick in the ass after I stop paying rent and making the landlord wealthy. Equity baby. Even though I am "homeless", believe it or not, I know how to buy a house with no money down!! Yep, that's right but it's sounds a whole hell of lot easier than it is to do. But this isn't a Carlton Sheets course (I learned from him BTW after I got evicted from my apartment in San Francisco after my employer eliminated my job to save money, but that's another chapter) Where was I? Oh yeah, explaining how nice being homeless is, uh, no, uh, what the hell was I trying to explain? It will have to wait until tomorrow, I am writing this on my iPad in Bayview park and it's getting ready to close. I need to go to my "secret sleeping spot" before the cops come to take me away (ha ha he he) cos I'm homeless and don't have a home to go to. Sweet dreams. Remember, NO TRESPASSING!! Or do what the good Book says and forgive those who trespass against you.

Part 2, 2 days later...

Well, I escaped the cops once again, Lord I hope I just didn't jinx myself but with my luck, I probably just did. Oh we'll, life goes on. Back to me defending or explaining homelessness. People don't understand the unknown. If they did then it wouldn't be unknown, I think? But what the hell do I know? Other than I am and continue to be homeless. It's really not a big deal to me. I have a great spot to sleep with a awning over my head to keep me out of the rain and the cops have yet to catch me trespassing while catching some zzzzzzz's. Are you still awake? Just checking. O.K. then, I'm not a materialistic person. If I won a million dollars I wouldn't know what to buy. I'm sure if given a couple of days to think about it, I would come up with something I want. But I am content without a tent with my iPad and writing words that don't make any sense. Other than my declining health, terrible teeth, I have 3 and a half left, asthma which I can't afford my prescribed inhaler, it cost about 70 dollars, but I did fill out an application to get it paid for. It sucks when you can't breathe and yes, I am a dumb ass, I still smoke a pack a cigarettes a day. In my defense, how stupid it sounds but I have to come up with some kind of excuse, I've been smoking since I was 12 years old and didn't get asthma until I was about 32, 20 years in the making and to the people who have or still smoke, they know how hard it is to quit smoking. Easier said than done. It's harder than buying a house with no money down.

It's O.K. to dream but I hear other homeless people say,"Man, look at that nice car, I wish I had that". I think to myself, "Man, you can't even buy a wish sandwich and you're not doing shit to even come close to getting that car let alone a friggin' sandwich!" I may be calling the kettle black but as least I think I try. I have an iPad in which I got the steal of the century that I paid a million pennies for. (Is that 100 dollars? If not, I told you I wasn't good at math!) And no it wasn't stolen and I didn't steal it! I had the shittiest country song ever written with my words recorded to music which you can buy on iTunes, Amazon and 750 other online music retailers, if you want to waste 99 cents on the piece of shit. The song is called "Alcohol Call" by the fictitious band name I made up called, Fall Down Daddy. I'm trying to write a book about my past experiences in life because my life was and still is so frigging interesting. Bottom line, I am trying with what little I do have. All I need in life is love, beer, cigarettes, music, asthma inhaler, my iPad, transportation and to fix my teeth and my driver's license and some food. That's it!! I always say, "Life is simple, people make it difficult"

It's hard to keep my train of thought when I go off on these tangents. I don't know where to end from where I began. Reading my scatter brain words must be a pain in the ass. On that note, what in the fuck was I talking about?

Oh yeah, I'm trying to defend or make sense of the disease you can't cure called homelessness or for you politically correct assholes, residentially challenged. Since I am tired of typing and my battery is about to run out and the McDonald's floor mopper is looking at me funny because I been at McDonald's too long and probably wondering, "How in the hell does this homeless looking motherfucker have an iPad and what the fuck is he typing"? I need to go. Plus, I can't solve homelessness or even explain it to you. You have your own allegations and assumptions. You can think what you want. You can call me an asshole but I still have my own opinion.

Until then, enjoy your independence, thank GOD we live in the greatest nation on the universe and practice freedom of speech, even if it doesn't make sense.

Happy 4th of July...See you on the beach

Sent from my iPad

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Visit my blog at www.poeticdrummer.blogspot.com for the latest in what is happening in my world.

My new country band, Fall Down Daddy is available worldwide!!

FALL DOWN DADDY

 

NOW AVAILABLE ON REVERBNATION!!!!

Old school country band, Fall Down Daddy was founded by lyricist Kevin Dale Sanders. The sound is reminiscent of Hank Williams Sr with a dash of Johnny Cash. Their country debut single, "Alcohol Call" is now available on iTunes, Amazon and 750 other online music retailers.

Kevin was the drummer for several bands in San Francisco before moving to Los Angeles with one of the bands to "make it" in the music business. The band broke up just a few months later. The other members went back to San Francisco while Kevin remained in L.A. sleeping in his 1973 Volkswagen van. He landed a job at the legendary Tower records on Sunset Blvd. (a place where Rivers Cuomo of Weezer once worked as well as Axl & Slash from Guns n' Roses @ Tower Video across the street)

Kevin worked at Tower records on the famous Sunset Strip while living in his van for over 3 years until that one fateful day when his van was towed away. With nowhere else to go, he slept behind Tower records continuing to work at the record store. After declining sales of CD's and the power of the

Internet, the unthinkable happened, Tower records went out of business. He didn't know what to do, as he was band less, homeless and now job less he decided to take a Greyhound bus 3,000 miles back to his hometown in the Florida Keys. Always writing poems and lyrics in hopes that he could make a song one day with his words. He paid a production company 200 dollars to put music to his lyrics for the song, "Alcohol Call" recorded by David Fox (guitar/vocals) of Magic Key Productions.

The song, "Alcohol Call" has been released, Kevin remains band less, job less and homeless in his hometown in the Florida Keys but he also remains optimistic, thankful and hopeful that he has a song to release to the world that just might change his current living situation.


2013 Major Jordan Productions (ASCAP) Kevin Dale Sanders
Label / Distribution - Mondo Tunes


Like on Facebook - www.facebook.com/falldowndaddy

Follow on Twitter - www.twitter.com/falldowndaddy


Fall Down Daddy will donate 50% of sales to the charity, Sweet Relief, an organization helping other musicians, in a time of need. Visit www.sweetrelief.org for more info on the charity work. Thanks for your support and helping out a great cause.

Click on this link to Listen/Purchase the song and watch lyric video for "Alcohol Call"





ISRC Code - USQY51398846 for the song Alcohol Call



Fresh Out Of Jail / Song Release



Hello, sorry for the delay, I went to the "BIG HOUSE" for drinking a beer in public!!! I know,  it's a MAJOR crime in Key West. God forbid, I drink a beer in public, do and act like the tourists. It's a double standard, discrimination, hypocritical situation, but what can I do if I don't have the money to fight for what I believe in? Oh well, it was only 10 days. The food sucked but it was better than what I had. Zero dollars on the food stamp card,... priceless!! I tried to go to jail, believe it or not, I'm walking on air ( The opening T.V. theme to the Greatest American Hero) The 2nd time, in Moron county I got arrested for the same horrendous crime back in October of 2011. I can't believe I would commit such a crime, twice, in broad daylight!!! How stupid can I be?!!? Key West police officer Lovette, arrested me. I heard he claims to be the cousin of Lyle Lovette, I meant to ask him while he was taking me to jail. I read the affidavit he wrote and he stated that he has arrested me numerous times when in fact, I have only been arrested ONCE in Monroe county and that was on October 4, 2011 by Brenda "Bitch" Sellers.

I really did try to get arrested or lets put it this way, I didn't care if I got arrested. I ran out of food stamps, it was suppose to rain all week (in which it did), my song wasn't coming out until June 9th AND this is the BIG excuse, I can get an inhaler for my asthma for FREE!! as opposed to paying 70 dollars that I don't have and I can breathe freely again! Worth the price of admission.

This is Josh Roth, one of my "cell" mates in the Monroe County Jail.

He will be starring in Cash Crown Pawn on truTV on August 13th, 2013.





Autograph from Josh before I left the jail, June 7th, 2013

I also met Jack DeWolf the second assistant director for the movie Halloween while I was in jail. He got popped for open container like I did.

My country song has been released!!! (just as I was being released from jail!!)
To buy my song, "Alcohol Call"  click on the links below to go directly to my song:
For the record, I only wrote the words to the song. I didn't play or sing on any of the tune. That credit goes to David Fox who played guitar and sang.

iTunes - "Alcohol Call"

Amazon - "Alcohol Call"

YouTube - video for "Alcohol Call"

Stay safe and have fun!! Request my song where ever and whenever you can!! Thanks for spreading the word!!

2013 Major Jordan Productions

Happy Memorial Day!! God Bless America

I wrote a poem for Memorial Day in honor of the brave men and women of the United States military that kept freedom ringing and paid the ultimate sacrifice, so we and future generations may enjoy life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. My grandfather, Collis Jordan was a Major in the Allied Air Force and my stepfather, Donald "Doc" MacDonald was a corporal in the U.S. Army. Both of them were in World War II. They didn't die while serving our country but nonetheless they served our country. By crazy coincidence, I found a authentic World War II Corporal uniform (pictured below) at the Salvation Army here in Key West and got it for free!  May they and the many men and woman who sacrificed their own life to ensure that we have a better one, Rest In Peace. God Bless America!

MEMORIAL DAY



They paid the price

The ultimate sacrifice

The cost of freedom

Is not free

Honor the ones we love

And lost



War torn scars

Willing to fight

For what you

Enjoy today

Sleep in peace tonight

As they rest for eternity                                               

God bless the soldiers

Who gave their life

We owe ours to them

They kept and keep

Our creed

Home of the brave

Land of the free



Stand as tall and strong

As the Statue of Liberty

Give thanks to the soldiers

That defend our honor

And belief                                                   

                                                   Authentic World War II Corporal uniform


God bless them

And their families

Giving children a chance

To realize their dreams

Because of them

America continues to be

Home of the brave

And the land of the free



Happy Memorial Day

In music news, my song "Alcohol Call" should be released on JUNE 9th, 2013 on iTunes, Amazon and 750 other online retailers. Be on the look out :0 and share with your friends!!

Band name: Fall Down Daddy - Song name: Alcohol Call

I got the CD back from the production. I listened to the song and was disappointed that they used a drum machine as opposed to real "live" drums. Especially when I am a drummer myself. I think it takes away the power of what the song could of been. I knew it was a long shot in the dark and really, what could I expect for 200 bucks. Hopefully, I can recoup my investment. I wish I could put out something better but I can't just sit on it. For only 7.99 MondoTunes will distribute the song to over 750 online retailers including iTunes, Amazon, eMusic, Spotify and Napster to name a few.

I named the "band" Fall Down Daddy and the single "Alcohol Call" should be distributed worldwide online in about 3 weeks from now. Some sites will get it up sooner than others.
The song sounds like old school country ie. George Jones and Johnny Cash (R.I.P.) It has that "feel" to it and believe me, I would never compare my song to be even close to those legends.

Credits for the song:

Words by Kevin Dale Sanders
Music and Vocals by David Fox
Recorded under the direction of Arthur Kaufman at Magic Key Productions
Published by Major Jordan Productions 2013

Like the band/song on Facebook at Facebook.com/FallDownDaddy

Follow on Twitter @FallDownDaddy

See the lyrics on YouTube @ YouTube.com/user/FallDownDaddy

Visit the band at MySpace.com/FallDownDaddy

Email - falldowndaddy@gmail.com

Happy Mother's Day Mommies

Happy Mother's Day mommies..you are commended for what you do, from me anyway!
I lost my mother from pancreatic cancer when I was 15 years old. Please cherish everyday you have with your mother on Earth, I no longer have that chance. 


HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY



NOTHING better than the unconditional love of a mother.

NEVER will I see my mother again

Until I make my way to heaven

I love you

For all you do

Along with the shit

You put up with

And what you go through

Happy Mother's Day

Haven't seen my mother

Since I was fifteen

God took her away

From pancreatic cancer

Wish the best

For you and yours

I wish I could be

With the one I love

Happy Mother's Day

I have to wait

For the gates of heaven

To open up

I have a lot

Of work

To do on Earth

Before I'm gone

No time to wallow

In sorrow

Need to move on

To see

A better tomorrow

Happy Mother's Day

Mama

I will be home soon

I know that you are

In a safe place

In the good hands

Of the Lord

The same place

I will be someday

Just a matter of time

Happy Mother's Day

Until then

Waiting

Do my work on Earth

God will handle the rest

I rest assured you're in good hands

Better mankind

Stay strong

Happy Mother's Day

I'll see you

When I get there

She cried

I don't want to die

I couldn't change

Destiny

It was up to

The doctors who operated

Outcome

The sight I didn't want to see

All I can say now

Living alone is

Happy Mother's Day

One step closer everyday

To give her another kiss

Form a family reunion

Regain

What I already lost

Nice to know

Good times are on their way

Take away

The worries

I had today

Think about

The memories

I had

From days

Gone past

Something to hold on to

Something "they" can't take away

Before I go

Let me just say

Happy Mother's Day