Author of the memoir, "Where Did My Life Go?"

Author of the memoir, "Where Did My Life Go?"
My FREE short story Memoir Available Worldwide on Amazon and iBooks (Click the Picture Above)

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Certified Homeless, with a job and no money

Well, I am officially certifiably homeless as the letter below testifies. I had to jump through a few hoops in order to get a reduced monthly bus pass to take the bus to Marathon to go to work I had heard through the coconut telegraph that we residentially challenged peoples could get a reduced fare for being homeless. A price difference of 75.00 versus 45.00. Since it is for working purposes, my boss fit the bill. My I.D. actually has K.O.T.S. address as my address which I thought would be proof enough to get the reduced fare. But again, I thought wrong. After all, I'm dealing with D.O.T., with a lot of red tape or I guess in this case, yellow caution tape. So I had 50 dollars cash in hand and my I.D. with the homeless shelter address imprinted on it. And the woman behind the counter informs me that I need a LETTER from the shelter to verify that I do indeed, stay at the shelter. I couldn't believe it! So I had to go to K.O.T.S. to speak with a case worker to obtain a letter certifying that I truly am staying at the lovely day care center for adults and idiots who can't afford to pay rent. I got the letter and went back to the D.O.T. and finally got the damn discounted bus pass for the Lower Keys shuttle. My other co worker/Staute of Liberty guy and I we're switching between going to Marathon or staying in Key West. It doesn't really mean a shit bit of difference to me. I spin the sign just the same whether I'm in Key Weird or my hometown of Marathon. But apparently, my other co hort in crime liked Marathon first then changed his mine as he does all the time and wanted to stay in Key West so now it looks like I will be traveling to Marathon everyday except for Sunday. I don't mind. I love traveling and a change of scenery. BTW, a little known interesting fact. The other Statue of Liberty, real name David Knight, his nickname Red, is the half brother of Larry Bird. I shit you not. He was raised in Indiana. He looks funnier than shit in the suit. He has long red hair and a full white beard. Talk about drawing attention. I must say, he looks better than me but I have better moves than him. Not to toot my own horn. I put a 110% in to my work listening and dancing like a fool to the radio or my iPad. I have a great time. I wear myself out but I have to admit it's fun..the people driving by on bikes or cars I think are more entertaining than I am. And a few are oblivious to their surroundings. ......For instance, one day in Marathon, I saw a car with an elderly lady driving slowly in the left fast lane with a Sheriff's deputy behind her with their pull over lights on. The lady stops in the left fast lane. Not going into the center lane to make a left turn. She's waiting for the traffic to clear so she can proceed to (I assume) make a left turn into the post office. Once the traffic was clear, the lady slowly starts turning and continues until she makes a complete U-turn and starts heading in the other direction, apparently, obviously oblivious to the fact that there is a cop behind her with flashing red and blue lights on. Un friggin believable. I laughed so hard, I had tears in my eyes!!!
O.K., on that note, I have to catch the bus to Marathon to go to work. On a pretty idiotic, pathetic, dumb ass note. I got paid 275.00 on Friday and by Monday, I had 1.03 to my name in my checking account. I have too many friends in low places. Sucks having a job with no money, but it's nobody's fault but my own. See ya on the streets. Peace.


Monday, February 10, 2014

Life saver on a bicycle. Vodka be damned!!

I wrote this poem/these lyrics after my new found friend Tom, found me in the worse way. I obviously didn't look too good for him to do what he did. I had drank unremembered amounts of Vodka the day before on Sunday with my friend Murphy at Bayview park in Key West. I had previously swore off Vodka and now I am swearing again that it will never happen again. I can't handle hard liquor anymore. I'm not 21 anymore, I'm 44 and feel like I'm 88 after drinking a lot of hard liquor, the morning after. Beer is good, liquor is BAD, for me anyway. When you feel like a Mack truck just ran over you the next day and you're puking your brains out, tired and feel like you're going to die from dehydration and you don't remember what you did the day before and you have cuts all over you. It's not very fun! So on Monday, I missed work but I did call in "sick" which I am still kicking myself in the ass for. Thank GOD my boss is understanding. So on Monday I slept all day, waking up every so often to get a drink of WATER! I had one dollar on me and decided to go to the Circle K and get a red Powerade Polar Pop for 85 cents. As I was slowly walking like a zombie to the store, a bicyclist rode passed me and stopped a few feet ahead of me. As I slowly passed by him looking down at the ground, I heard, "Here take this". I looked up and the bicyclist handed me a 10 dollar bill, Surprised I said, "Thank you very much, sir!" He then asked me my name and I replied, "George" No I didn't say George, you people are so gullible. I said, "Kevin" He said "My name is Tom" I said, "Thank you very much Tom, you're a life saver" I continued to zombie step to the Circle K, got my red Powerade, proceeded to gulp it down. As I was crossing the street to go back to the park to lie down some more. I puked up the whole red Powerade like Niagara Falls. It must of look like I was doing my Gene Simmons blood spitting impression. Which I was pretty good at as a kid but that was about 36 years ago without alcohol, just a Dixie cup with red food coloring. Anyway, I have to cut this short as I have to go to work.Yes, thank GOD, I still have a job!  Cheers with a BEER! 

Thank you Tom
You didn't have to stop
In my time of need
To give me ten bucks
I didn't have to pay

You saved my life
Peddling down the street
You gave me faith
There are angels
That I still believe 
In a man
Living lost
On a lonely street

I needed a different drink
To survive another day
Because of you
I still have a chance 
To make a change

I didn't have to say a thing 
For you to see my need
I will never forget
What you did for me

I will pay you back
When I get back
On my feet
It's just a matter of time
When I see you again
I will never forget
What you did for me
GOD bless you
And your family

You made me feel alive
When I thought I was
The walking dead
To get a step
On my feet again
For that 
I will never forget
For that simple act
You gave me
Strength again

A guardian angel
Looking down on me
From the depths
Of hell
Only I could see

Thank you Tom
For helping me
In my time of need
You didn't have to do
What you did
Your karma
Is guaranteed 
To come back 10 fold

I thank The Lord 
There is still
Somebody in this world
Just like you
To make everything
A beautiful place
No amount of money
Could replace
The saint I haven't met yet
Until That day
My life was saved

I know
You don't even
Know what you did
Your karma
Will comeback 
Without a blink

Angels seem to fade away
But there for you
Just when you need
To hang on a wing
To pick you up
When you fall down
Another day
To sing another praise