M.I.A. Murphy Party and inspired lyrics

Well I had a great time at Marathon Seafood Festival. The ending wasn't expected though. I brought my good friend, Murphy, to the festival. Let's just say Murphy is, well... a "special" person and I mean that in the nicest way possible. I dubbed the trip, "Murphy In Marathon". I was LMFAO the whole MFin time. Murphy even got up to cut a rug..um ...cut some grass?....you see the festival was outside at the Marathon Community Park and yes there is grass in front of the stage where the band plays, let's just say, to make it easier for some of you idiots, Murphy was D-A-N-C-I-N-G and he can barely walk, as he says, "I'm a crippled Vietnam vet". His words, not mine. He's kind of hard to explain and they definitely broke the mold after they made Murphy. He's a one of a kind character. Anyway, on Sunday and the last day of the festival, Murphy had a plate of seafood and guess what Murphy did when he saw the food? This is not a trick question but if you're having trouble finding the answer, email me and you just might win a trip to Stupidville. I can't make any promises but you just MIGHT get lucky and since St Patty's Day is around the corner, if you're Irish and you feel lucky, I will throw in a second chance to win, you know WHY? because I'm a nice guy...Until you piss me off, then I turn green and it's not envy, it's more like the shade of the Incredible Hulk. Actually, I just reread what I just typed and I guess it's kind of a trick question, there's actually 2 answers as to the question, What did Murphy do when he saw the food? Well, he started throwing food at me! So I threw food back!! What else was I supposed to do, I have to defend myself, right? He got me good on the left leg of my shorts when he dumped some cocktail sauce on my already dirty shorts. I think I got him good with a hush puppy and told all my friends around that Murphy barks a lot but he don't bite. He reminds me of some kind of pet animal and Murphy was my show and tell moment in Marathon. He even asked me, "Is these your peoples?" That's how's he talks. A little different than Forrest Gump but what the hell do you want from a guy who claims he from a country called Texas and that's where he left all his ex's and now he's mine own personal pain in the asses <----------- That's what I call a Murphyism. He likes to add S's at the end of his sentenceses <-------- Pop Quiz ..what is that underlined italicized word called
boys and girls? I knew you could do it, the answer is above is. ....Alrighty then, shall we move on to the part where I get pissed off and storm out of the festival and leave Murphy at the festival and not looking back. You could assume that I got mad at Murphy but you would be wrong. But when we, meaning me and Murphy, was having our food fight fun, wearing more than we put down our throatsess.... A piece of one of our arsenals apparently hit this female patron or bitch as I affectionately nicknamed her and gave her a piece of my mind after the deputy came over and told us to cool out because the BITCH had to run to Mr. Policeman and tell on the two bad boys that a piece of food debris got on her. The cop was cool though, he said we didn't have to leave but would appreciate it if we would he wanted us to clean up our mess. After the cop left, something went off in my head. I was fumigating. I haven't gotten that pissed off since I can't remember when. I even did my Incredible Hulk impression I used to do back in the old school dayzses. And I basically cussed this BITCH out left and right, upside down and backwards with her husband,boyfriend whatever he was sitting next to her. I can't remember verbatim what was exactly said but it was something like, "YOU STUPID PUSSY CRYBABY BITCH ASS, I WILL STOMP YOU IN THE GROUND, YOU'RE FUCKING WITH THE WRONG MOTHERFUCKER. I actually almost scared myself. They didn't say a word and I stomped off the playing field and left Murphy there and got on the bus back to Key West. I was pretty much pissed off because I am tired of people crying about and snitchin about mother fuckin stupid shit. She didn't have to call the cops over a piece of food getting on her, it's not like she was hit with a lobster. Duck or get out of the way, me and Murphy were just having fun, trying not to hurt anyone, that almost sounds like a song lyric, but I can't remember, oh hold on, yes I do it's Billy Joel's, "You May Be Right". ....Speaking of song lyrics, after that fiasco, I was inspired to write some lyrics. The inspiration actually comes from a culmination of things,... ready, o.k., here we go......this one's called "Idiots and Assholes"

I WANT TO THANK
ALL OF THE IDIOTS
AND NEVER FORGET
THE ASSHOLES

FOR THE ALLEGATIONS
ASSUMPTIONS
AND ACCUSATIONS

BECAUSE OF YOU
I COULD NEVER GO ON

WITHOUT YOU
I WOULD
NEVER BE STRONG

I COULD NEVER WRITE A SONG

ABOUT YOU
MOTHERFUCKIN
ASSHOLES AND IDIOTS
WHY DON'T YOU STUPID BITCHES
GO HOME
SO I CAN GO
ON WITH THE SHOW

THANK YOU
FROM
THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART

NOW YOU CAN
KISS MY ASS

EVERYBODY SING
YEAH YEAH YEAH

MAKE THE WHOLE WORLD SING
AGAINST THE
FUTURE GENERATION
OF
IDIOTS AND ASSHOLES

THAT'S ALL THE TIME
I HAVE
FOR YOU
DUMB MOTHERFUCKERS

Written by: Kevin Dale Sanders - March 12, 2012

Update: On M.I.A. Murphy In Action - Murphy made it back to Key West. He was last seen by Mr. Charlie Coffey and Coffey told me, he saw Murphy in the bushes, as I passed him and his wife walking down the street....singing do wah diddy diddy dumb ditty do
( This is true story shit, I can't make this shit up!! )

( BONUS LYRICS ) *

3 -6 - 12

SLEPT UNDERNEATH
A PALM TREE

JUST ANOTHER DAY
IN PARADISE

I THOUGHT IT
WAS CHRISTMAS
BUT THAT WAS
YESTERDAY

I THOUGHT I HAD PRESENCE
BUT I KNEW
THAT WAS TODAY

BECAUSE I GET
A GIFT EVERYDAY

NO MATTER
WHICH WAY
I LOOK OR TURN

I'VE BEEN BLESSED
BEYOND YOUR CONCERN

3-8-12

PEOPLE LOOK AT ME
LIKE I'M CRAZY
OR A SUPERSTAR

I GUESS IT'S
ALL THE SAME
THE DIFFERENCE
BOGGLES MY MIND

IT FREAKS ME OUT
WITHOUT A CLUE
ABOUT WHAT TO DO

SOME SECRET STREET PLAN
THEY ONLY KNOW

THE HIGHWAY IS
EMPTY
I WISH I KNEW

SEEMS LIKE
THEY WANT TO SOLVE
A PROBLEM
I NEVER HAD

WORLDWIDE
INFORMATION
IN THE
LOCAL PAPER

...MORE TO COME LIMITED TIME ON THE COMPUTER @ LIBRARY

BYE, BYE