Author of the memoir, "Where Did My Life Go?"

Author of the memoir, "Where Did My Life Go?"
My FREE short story Memoir Available Worldwide on Amazon and iBooks (Click the Picture Above)

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Cops, Rain and Mosquitoes...Which way is UP^

It's hard to escape the cops, rain and mosquitoes when you're sleeping in the woods. All you can do is prepare yourself. As far as the rain is concerned, I bought a 60" umbrella for 5 bucks at Home Depot, which I just recently got discovered behind by the cops and issued a trespassing warning, never to return.(why couldn't the record company find me as easily as when I was trying to make it in the music business, then I wouldn't be in predicament, anyway) I bought some Deep Woods Off. Mosquitoes, in check. I couldn't find the cop repellent though, 2 out of 3 ain't bad. Now for the cops. All I can say is that the Monroe County Sheriff's deputies are a lot cooler than the Key West Pathetic Department..I mean Police, oops....  Let me digress and say, I have moved on to better and greener pastures. In which, I will not divulge details, as I did with my last "secret" hiding spot as the cops found me by accident, through a jinx, I think? If  I would of went deeper into the woods, they would have never found me. But because I was lazy and didn't want to go the distance, I fell short.  I wasn't even sleeping at the time. I was sitting up listening to Neil Young when I saw the white flashlight coming towards me without anywhere to run. The police officer stopped exactly where I was and told me to move on. As I was leaving, the officer shouted, " Hey Sanders", I turned and he asked if  I was the Statue Of  Liberty. I replied, "No, but I play one on T.V."

  Speaking of which, I am currently working at Liberty Tax as the dancing fool, raising eyebrows on the street corner, dressed in a dress and crown, spinning around in two different towns. I am performing Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays in Key West between 2 p.m. and 6 p.m. and my hometown of Marathon, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. I take the bus to Key West with a certified homeless discount of 2 bucks which takes an hour and a half to get to my destination, whereas, if I drove a car, it would only take an hour. But my license is suspended from some bullshit frivolous lawsuit filed by some asshole attorney in Ft. Lauderdale named Gary Kornfiled. (If you see him, shoot him and I'll pay YOU 5,000 dollars, instead of this full of bullshit frivolous asshole) when I got in a "fender bender" without an ambulance or injuries at the time.About five years later, I found out he filed a bodily injury lawsuit for 5,000 dollars and that he could suspend my license until I paid the judgement. Otherwise, I would buy a van and live in it, like I did in L.A. for 3 years when I worked at Tower Records on Sunset. Needless to say, I don't have 5,000 dollars, which I think the bill is up to 10,000 dollars now with interest. So I let my feet do the walking and keep on dancing. Hurry though, the party ends April 15th!!! Don't forget to pay your taxes!!! I have since gotten job offers for other sign waving jobs in Marathon.One possibility is a sign waving shark at Aquarium Encounters. Which goes to show, at least to me that, I don't care if you're slinging shit for a living, sling the shit the best way you can and become the best shit slinger the world has ever seen and then maybe you might move on to bigger and better things. Don't half ass things in a lazy way. You only get in life what you put into it. Do your best and fuck the rest. You only have ONE life to live without a second chance!!!

  A little about what I observe while spinning around drawing attention for the business, which BTW, I HATE drawing attention. I like to go unnoticed.Which is a weird dichotomy to my unchosen profession. I don't like people staring at me. But they do in my shocking Statue Of Liberty suit. Which I think is no big deal but to other people, I see a different reaction. Some people smile and wave or even laugh, which I think is great. And then there are other people, especially in Key West, that have have a scowl on their face shaking their head, which I don't understand that they don't understand. I had one guy ask me with a disgust question, "Man, how much do they pay you to do that?" I said. "Too much!"  I have never seen so many miserable people living in "paradise". It's unbelievable!! I don't get, that they don't get it. They probably have a roof over their head and obviously have a car or are using somebody else's car and here I am trying to work, living in the streets, trying to keep away from the cops, rain and mosquitoes, happy as I can be. I know you can't buy happiness but damn it, be thankful for what you have!! It could be worse but it seems their narrow minds only see a fool, dressed up in a Statue Of  Liberty suit, dancing around like a clown, and they look like, from my point of view, that they want to pull their hair out. I don't need much. I am happy with my iPad, my music and bus pass. Like I have heard in the past. I rather be poor and happy than rich and sad. Now with that said, that doesn't mean everybody who has money is sad. There's ALWAYS an asshole in every class of society. Be it a homeless bum or a bazillionaire. Doesn't matter. All I know for sure is, personally speaking, music saves my life everyday. Without music, you might as well shoot me in the head and get it over with. Speaking of which, I need to end my timed session at the library and go to work. I had to use the public computers to write this little story because my  iPad has a cracked screen after I did a spin as the Statue of Liberty and it flew out of my side holster. Thank God it still plays MUSIC. It's going to cost me 150 dollars to fix but worth every penny. Anyway, to da loo, skip to my lou, I have more work to do. And another thing, as Nicko McBrain would say,(For you idiots, Mr. McBrain is the bad ass drummer for Iron Maiden).......remember kids,....Don't worry about what I'm doing, worry about what the fuck YOU are doing!!! { :)-------------------------------------------------------------------------Gene Simmons
Hugs and KISSes!!
Signing off,
Dr. Love


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