Author of the memoir, "Where Did My Life Go?"

Author of the memoir, "Where Did My Life Go?"
My FREE short story Memoir Available Worldwide on Amazon and iBooks (Click the Picture Above)

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Solving the homeless problem, one bum at a time. Full of Sh..elter

I woke up on the beach this morning. (and I am currently writing this thing you are reading at the beach on the iPad I bought, isn't technology great?!) .. I slept there last night because once again, K.O.T.S. was filled to capacity by 7:30 p.m. and didn't have a "bed" available. To add insult to injury, I found someone sleeping in my "secret sleeping spot!" Now this shit is getting ridiculous! I guess my spot ain't so secret after all. Although, one other person does know about it because he's the one who actually told me about it. I couldn't tell if it was him or not because they were covered in a blanket and I didn't really want to confront the subject, so I moved on. (Late breaking news..I talked to the person who I thought and hoped it was and it was him, thank God, we're still good!!)....I proceeded to the park and called K.O.T.S. at 8:30 p.m. to confirm that they were indeed full and George the monitor, confirmed my assumption. It's been rainy and cold in Key West since the day I came back from Marathon. So I needed to find a place to sleep with a "roof" over my head and came up with the beach because they have little huts with just that, a roof to keep me dry. From what the monitors at K.O.T.S. have told me in the past, if the shelter is filled to capacity, the cops won't hassle you on the street. I find that hard to believe but then what else can I do if can't get into the shelter. I have to find someplace on the street because I don't have anywhere else to go. I guess that's why they call me mellow yellow, uh, no dumb asses, that's why they call me, HOMELESS !! So I move on to da beach. For the record, financially, I am broke. I have one cigarette left, NO beer (I haven't drank in over 3 days, good for my liver, bad for my stress) and my unemployment compensation ended BUT I do have a job that I worked my first day yesterday. But of course, I have to wait 2 weeks for a paycheck and I do have food stamps. So I'm not starving. Things could be worse. I can go without drinking, at least for a few days, I don't really have a problem with that, but me without cigarettes is not a good idea and a pain in my ass, I might add. (I know, I know, I can hear you and my brother screaming through the computer screen, "Then why don't you just quit!" And then I say, "Easier said than done!" O.K. Enough lecture, let's get to the point at hand, what was that point again? Oh yeah, I am about to solve the homeless problem and then next week we're gonna tackle world hunger. That's what I'm here for folks! What, you thought I was here to just take up air and space, I'm NOT an astronaut! ...But my Facebook friend, Boyd is a physicist and a homeless one at that, how bout that? And I can't forget my brother who is not only a cancer doctor but a Professor of Oncology who I love so much and am very proud of!! He is not homeless though, he has a house in Cailfornia. And I am a...a.,.what am I? Oh forget about me, let's move on, shall we?

So Key West is bitchin' about the homeless, I would assume that it's people who have a roof over their head and who pay taxes. I call them home mores or "homos" for short. As oppose to me being homeless. Get it?, got it? Good! There will be a test next Friday, make sure you study! Anyway, they are trying to build a new 24 hour shelter for the homeless in Key West because the city is under fire and a lawsuit for building the current K.O.T.S. in a rush without proper permits. They are being sued by the Sunset Marina condo association because they don't want to live that close to a homeless shelter or homeless people. Never mind the fact that the Sunset condo homos bought their beautiful condo right next to a former dump called Mount Trashmore. Who can blame the hormonal homeowners? Who in their right mind would want to live next to a bunch of lazy, drunk bums? Hence, the first and major problem Key West is facing. Where can you put a shelter where everybody will be happy and not "annoyed" by local vagrants roaming the streets pissing, defecating and throwing beer cans in the street? Answer: Nowhere. The only answer, which is not practical, is on a deserted island away from the tax paying homos. Anywhere else, you can bet some well off innocent citizen will pitch a bitch. As I understand it though, I am not an attorney but I play one on T.V., Federal law has a mandate that a city or county must provide shelter to the homeless within 50 miles of a city limit or something like that. I could be wrong but that's what I have heard. Also on the flip side, if you DON'T build a shelter, guess where the homeless are going to be? The WRONG answer would be that they will just go away. NOT!! In your wildest, wishful thinking dreams. No, the correct answer is they will be everywhere, maybe even on the front porch of the homos or the backyard, in front of stores, nobody really knows. But at least with some kind of shelter, you have some kind of control of the madness. And no, throwing them in jail just cost the hard working tax paying dollars of the up standing citizens. Your hard working tax dollars pays for the homeless medical expenses not to mention food, air conditioned dorms in the jail, labor for county employee workers to babysit these no good for nothing hoodlums. The Sheriff, Rick Ramsay, (a Marathon High alumni, I might add) has already complained about the very thing I just explained. So what do you do? Ooh, ooh, ooh, I know, just SHOOT THE NO GOOD FOR NOTHIN' MOTHERFUCKERS!!! You homos think you got it bad because you have to, god forbid, look at them on the street or you might get panhandled by some of them but I have to deal with them face to face on a daily basis, if not at the library, at K.O.T.S., or the soup kitchen. I personally can't stand MOST of them there homeless. They are not all bad, but most of them ain't worth a shit. No job, some get a crazy and/or a crippled check,(I know the word "crippled" is pollitically incorrect but then again so is my life, so F*%^ off!) They sit on their ass getting drunk while I go to work sober and penniless or writing this blog so the world can see my world, which of course I don't mind doing that's why I do this, I love writing on a wall to express my thoughts. It's seems to be a form of therapy and of course, I like to put my 2 cents in, especially when I see ignorance. That's why I sound a little bitter sometimes, not because I too am homeless, but I read about homos bitchin' and moanin' about the homeless, when they can go to their house, lock the door, have a beer,(without being arrested), turn on the T.V. and tune the world out. Why are normal, hard working, tax paying people worried about the homeless? (btw, homeless people pay taxes too. Maybe not property taxes but for beer, cigarettes and yes even hotel taxes when some get their check, they get a hotel for a weekend) Some of these mofo homeless motherfuckers get a BIG check! That's why they're lazy and shows just how crazy they are! Speaking of which, Key West needs to build a fuckin' insane asylum for some, seriously!! They're Jamaican me crazy!!! 
How bout this question? If you were homeless, would you want to be homeless in a snowy and cold climate or would you like to be homeless in "paradise"? I know, it's a tough question. But some people wonder why the homeless population is growing in Key West, at least, in the winter time season. Why do homos buy houses down here? A duh! I've seen snow twice in my life and it was 2 too many times. It looks and feels a lot better on T.V. .....This concludes today's poeticdrummer blog broadcast. I have to go to work as the Statue of Liberty now and save the world....Remember to look both ways for bums before you cross the road. I heard they sleep in the streets.......he he ha ha ta ta!!





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